As I entered the locker room from the pool at my local gym, I mentally prepared myself for the usual scene. Having frequented this place for years, I knew I was in for a bit of a shock as I navigated my way to my locker. Women over forty often seem unbothered by modesty, and today was no exception.
However, nothing could have prepared me for the sight that awaited me. A completely naked woman had her leg propped up on a bench, vigorously applying lotion to her backside. Yes, you read that right—her backside. While I’m all for skincare, some things are simply not meant to be seen in public.
Naturally, my locker was adjacent to hers. I tried to look elsewhere, but there was no escaping the scene. As she cheerfully struck up a conversation, I watched in disbelief as she turned around, entering her locker combination with the same hand that had just been… well, you know. The moment was enough to make me permanently cancel my use of locker number 53.
To all gym-goers: I implore you to be mindful of your behavior in our shared spaces. Each of us is here to endure a workout, so let’s try to be considerate of one another.
We all encounter those individuals who seem to think the rules don’t apply to them, or who are blissfully unaware that their sweat has a smell. Listen up, folks—yes, you must wipe down the machines or equipment after use. This isn’t rocket science! After sweating profusely on that elliptical, please take a moment to clean up. I’m happy to share the equipment, but I draw the line at bringing home your germs.
And can we talk about the “treadmill hogs”? I don’t care if you’re training for a marathon; I’ve just spent an eternity wrangling my kid into a snowsuit. I need you to step aside—there’s no time for your long runs on the treadmill when I’m just trying to squeeze in a quick workout. And for the love of fitness, if you’ve claimed bike #7 in spin class for the last 35 sessions, remember that we all pay the same membership fees. Just because it’s your favorite doesn’t mean it’s exclusively yours!
Now let’s address the issue of walking around barefoot in the locker room. Seriously, can we just stop? Feet can be unpleasant under normal circumstances, but after a workout? Gross. A simple pair of flip-flops will do wonders.
And please, don’t engage me in conversation while I’m trying to unwind in the sauna. I’m wrapped in a towel and looking for a moment of peace, not a friendly chat. The same goes for the treadmill; I’m not here for your gossip or news updates.
To the show-offs: Yes, we noticed when you lifted an outrageous amount of weight. Your dramatic grunts and the way you dropped the weights didn’t go unnoticed either. We get it.
And for those who have taken it upon themselves to blow-dry their pubic hair in public—just don’t. No one wants to see that.
Lastly, to the older adults: while I respect your experience, please don’t monopolize the swim lanes. Your charming vintage bathing cap is adorable, but I need to swim.
Gym etiquette isn’t complicated. A little effort can go a long way, whether it’s wiping down equipment or wearing flip-flops in the locker room. We’re all here to make ourselves better, so let’s be considerate of each other. And please, leave the lotion for home.
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In summary, let’s strive for a more respectful gym environment. It doesn’t take much to be considerate, and it makes the experience better for everyone involved.