One of the internet’s most relatable images features a dog sipping tea while sporting a little hat, calmly observing chaos around him. “This is fine,” he states, and it never fails to make me chuckle. As a weary mother of two young children, I often feel like that dog, surrounded by the small yet overwhelming fires of daily life. I wake up to cries, I try to find a moment of peace, only to be met by more chaos, all while struggling to keep my sanity intact.
I’m not complaining. Motherhood was always my dream, and I am grateful for my children. However, like many mothers, fatigue, emotional strain, and mental exhaustion are constant companions. It’s a strange balance: my heart is full, yet I often find myself at my wit’s end. This is my reality, and while I accept it, it complicates how I answer the inevitable question: “How are you doing?”
What Do People Really Want to Know?
What do people actually want to know? The complete truth? Just the surface? How much can they handle?
How Am I Doing?
Well, as a mother, I’ve been averaging four hours of sleep for three years, and I can’t recall the last time I had a proper shower. This morning, I struggled to button my largest pair of jeans, and the baby’s diaper had a major leak in her car seat.
How am I doing? I was in the middle of cleaning that car seat when my Starbucks napkin tore. I would’ve used a baby wipe, but the last one was busy removing a stubborn dried booger from my purse. My life has been a mix of poop and boogers.
How am I doing? My husband and I are like passing ships, navigating this parenting journey with quick high-fives as we juggle our responsibilities. By the day’s end, we collapse in bed, too drained to engage, let alone be intimate. And even if we weren’t that tired, I’ve been covered in mess all day. How can I feel attractive?
How am I doing? Raising a family of four comes with its financial burdens. Each day, I wake up knowing that these little beings depend on me for everything—safety, comfort, and yes, even their education, which makes me break into a sweat just thinking about it.
So, How Am I Doing?
Do you really want to know?
I’m fine.
But “fine” has taken on a new meaning for us moms.
Ask any mother what we truly mean when we say “I’m fine,” and we’ll tell you: “Fine” signifies the life we’ve always dreamed of, but it often feels overwhelming. We recognize the privilege of nurturing these little souls, yet the weight can be heavy. “Fine” also means there are days when I hardly recognize myself, as everything about my life has shifted. However, this is what I wanted; this is the life I chose.
“Fine” encapsulates the reality that motherhood is incredibly challenging. From an outsider’s perspective, it may seem like our lives are engulfed in flames—and in a way, they are. But despite the struggles, we are filled with gratitude.
“Fine” means I resonate deeply with that whimsical dog, grinning amidst the chaos. This exhausting, tumultuous life is exactly what I desired. I am right where I want to be, and I am fine.
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In Summary
While motherhood can be chaotic and exhausting, it is also profoundly rewarding. The term “fine” encompasses the whirlwind of emotions and experiences that define our journey as mothers.