Here I am, sitting alone in my minivan, parked right in the driveway. I needed some space, and this is where I’ve ended up. The bathroom was occupied, which left me with few options.
With a glass of wine in hand, I listen to the sounds of crickets and the distant whining of my daughter from her open window. It’s one of those unexpected warm evenings they used to call an Indian summer.
Occasionally, I can hear my husband telling her to be quiet, but I refuse to go back inside to mediate the situation. I have to consciously remind myself to stay put. Typically, I’m the one who fixes everything—the peacemaker. But tonight, I’m exhausted by that role.
My backside is glued to the seat, wine nestled in the cupholder, gazing at the house that normally feels like my refuge but tonight feels more like a prison. I needed to escape.
As I sit here, I find myself reflecting on my life from a different angle. Today marked a change for me—I dyed my hair lighter, yet the grays stubbornly remain. Those wiry reminders of aging pop up like weeds, a testament to the challenges of parenting that refuse to be ignored.
I had a disagreement with my daughter over her messy room, the slime, and the clothes she leaves lying around. It feels like an endless battle, one that has been going on since forever.
My relationship with my husband is a bit strained tonight, and I suspect he feels the same. While he procrastinates, I can’t help but nag. Such is the reality of marriage.
So here I am, finding refuge in my minivan. The remnants of school runs, sports practices, and playdates are scattered around—old snack wrappers, shoes, and bags that I dare not analyze further.
Soon enough, I’ll head back inside and give it another shot. Because this is how it goes sometimes. We all need a temporary escape to breathe and reflect. It doesn’t make us bad parents; it makes us human. It keeps us from wanting to send our kids back to the hospital or our partners back to where we first met them.
Right now, I just need a moment to be less than the person I usually am. Typically, I’m a lot to handle—a big deal in their eyes, even if they don’t always acknowledge it.
Maybe you, too, need a moment to sneak away, to pause and not feel the pressure to be everything for everyone. Take that time for yourself. I certainly am. Tonight, I’m simply a mom in her minivan parked in the driveway with a glass of wine. There’s no shame in it unless I allow it. Cheers to that.
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In summary, taking a break from our daily responsibilities can be a necessary act of self-care. It helps us recharge and ultimately be better for ourselves and our families.