The Tough-Love Mom

Having four kids in just seven years was either a stroke of genius or a complete disaster—depending on the day. Right now, it feels more like a disaster. My youngest is a 13-year-old who seems to have a bottomless pit for a stomach (I just watched him raid the fridge again—seriously, how is he still hungry?). Meanwhile, my oldest is about to turn 21 and has taken that milestone as an invitation to crack open a cold one in his room, leaving empty bottles hidden under his bed. Great. Just great. I might be down to three kids soon! I digress…

Then there’s my 15-year-old, who spends more time styling his hair than all five of us combined, and my 19-year-old college sophomore who treats house rules like suggestions. You can imagine why I’ve been a bit on edge this summer.

With kids coming and going at all hours, a constant barrage of snacking, and typical teenage antics, the house looks like a disaster zone. Seriously, the chaos surpasses even the sunburn on my side. At some point during this summer madness, I trip over their sneakers one too many times, and my irritation escalates to full-blown rage.

When I feel exploited, I won’t sugarcoat it—I get furious. I start reflecting on the cozy life I provide, all the cooking and cleaning that feels like I’m on a never-ending hamster wheel. Then, I fixate on everything they don’t do. If only our dog didn’t master the art of invisibility, maybe they’d realize he’s still around! When my basic house rules are mocked, well, that’s when I hit my breaking point.

In the past, Psycho Mom would emerge, wielding threats of lost electronics and grounding anyone within a 10-foot radius. It worked—especially with my teens. I’ve even hidden my son’s gaming console until he tackles his summer reading, and one kid lost his phone for the entire summer after pulling a dumb move. But as they grow older, the rules have to evolve. If you’re raising young adults like I am (check out my 5 tips from an earlier post), they’re already contributing financially to the household, making it tricky to enforce a grounding when they’re driving their own cars.

Enter Tough-Love Mom. For instance, my husband and I recently left our two youngest at home for a weekend while the older kids were left to fulfill their responsibilities, including looking after our invisible dog. We left behind very clear instructions—emphasis on “very clear.”

Upon returning home, it took mere seconds to discover that our young adults had turned the house into a party zone. Friends crashing without our knowledge? Check. Wild partying? (And yes, that lone bottle cap lodged under the toaster oven gives you away!) Check.

So, they were charged for their little hotel stay: $125 each. They got the full rundown on what happens if this happens again—quadruple the fee and a hefty financial reality check. After all, those student loans have co-signers. Just saying.

In total, Tough-Love Mom raked in $250. I’m thinking about putting that aside for my high school reunion in Long Island this September, where I’ll regale my old friends with stories of raising a crew that’s just as wild as we were back in the day.

This article was originally published on Dec. 3, 2012.

Are you interested in more relatable parenting stories? Check out one of our other blog posts about home insemination, which offers valuable insights into that journey! You can also find expert information on infertility, a great resource for anyone considering pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, parenting in the teenage years can feel like a wild rollercoaster, but tough love and clear consequences can help maintain order amidst the chaos. After all, a little humor and discipline go a long way in navigating the challenges of raising young adults.

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