As a busy parent, I’ve settled into a morning routine that feels almost choreographed. My partner wakes up a little earlier, preparing for the day ahead. I follow suit shortly after, and together, we juggle getting our little one ready. Eventually, we all head out the door — our toddler in tow, as we rush off to work and daycare, with both adults still only partly prepared for the day.
Mornings can be chaotic — not always aesthetically pleasing either. There’s the inevitable stomping of feet, huffing and puffing, and yes, even a few tears (mostly mine!). Often, there’s a wardrobe change for both myself and my toddler before we finally make it out. And it hasn’t always been this straightforward.
When I returned to full-time work after my maternity leave, my partner was deployed. Those eight months were a challenge like no other. I still wonder how I managed to navigate the complexities of solo parenting while balancing my job. My daughter was much younger then, and I was far more exhausted. Sometimes, the memories of those early days are hazy, but the feelings remain fresh.
Every morning was a heart-wrenching decision to leave my child in someone else’s care so I could fulfill my professional obligations. I loved my work — and even if my passion for my job waned, my family depended on my income. Yet, the emotional toll of leaving my child behind was profound, and that ache is something I still carry.
Today, as I dropped my daughter off at daycare, I noticed a new mother who appeared to be around six weeks postpartum. Instantly, I felt a wave of empathy wash over me. I could see the tenderness with which she held her baby, cradling them close to her chest, reminiscent of how I once held my own.
She walked at a slower pace, enveloped in a moment of intimacy with her newborn. I could almost feel the warmth and connection she was experiencing, the sweet scent of a newborn wafting through the air. As she took deep breaths, likely inhaling that familiar fragrance, I was reminded of the comforting smell that still lingers on my daughter after her morning wake-up or bath time.
I watched as she closed her eyes, perhaps grappling with an internal dialogue that many mothers face: Is my baby going to be cared for properly? Will they miss me as much as I will miss them? Are they going to feel safe and loved?
Oh, Mama, I know those thoughts all too well. The pangs of not wanting to leave your little one behind can be overwhelming, and trust me, I still experience those emotions daily.
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For more on home insemination, feel free to read our other blog post on the subject.
In summary, the experience of leaving your baby at daycare is a universal challenge that many parents face. It’s filled with heartache, but also, love. Remember, you are not alone in this journey.