I must admit, I may have stretched the truth during my wedding vows.
My partner, Tom, and I have vastly different lifestyles. He enjoys staying in, unwinding with affordable dinners, working on home improvement projects, or catching up on the latest thought-provoking series. I, on the other hand, thrive on adventure, love splurging on spontaneous outings, and the only shows I’ll binge-watch are documentaries about World War II, Game of Thrones, or any episode of True Detective or The Office.
Our paths crossed through mutual friends, many of whom remain close to us—two of them even stood by us on our wedding day. Our first meeting was marked by a lively debate over the Italian and Greek empires. It was entertaining, likely filled with inaccuracies, and foreshadowed the spirited discussions that would characterize our relationship.
Initially, we bonded over shared passions: a commitment to labor rights, an appreciation for American-made vehicles (BUICK FOR LIFE!), family anecdotes, and a shared love for spirited debates. It was exhilarating and fast-paced, but it didn’t lay the foundation for a lasting partnership.
When we decided to cohabitate, the dynamics began to change. Our playful debates morphed into pointed accusations about things like laundry left lying around, leading to deeper critiques of each other’s character.
Ultimately, marriage is about selecting your battles. It’s about recognizing each other’s flaws and deciding whether to voice your grievances or focus on the positive traits that illuminate your partner’s character.
Every day, I choose to be married. This commitment endures until it doesn’t—whether through divorce or death. My husband believes I come across as condescending when I’m upset, while I feel he often overreacts to trivial matters. Neither of us is wrong, yet we are both sensitive to each other’s habits. Interestingly, the quirks that frustrate me now were once the very traits that drew me to him initially.
In 2012, I described Tom as “loyal, someone who fights for his beliefs with fierce dedication. If you’re fortunate enough to be his friend, he’ll defend you no matter the circumstances.” Fast forward to today, when I might say, “He’s blindly loyal, often prioritizing his friends over his own principles.”
You see the shift? And I suspect if you asked Tom, he would have once called me ambitious and brilliant. Now, during moments of frustration, he might claim I manipulate discussions to expose weaknesses in arguments unrelated to the original topic.
This is my point: while we can negotiate on household responsibilities, holiday plans, or who gets up with the baby, we should never compromise on the core of who we are. Those characteristics might lead to the end of a marriage, yet they are also what made our union possible in the first place.
I love Tom, and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life. He has given me a beautiful child, endless laughter, immeasurable confidence, and yes, even a dishwasher. If we ever reach a point where we can’t stand to be around each other for extended periods, we’ll maintain open lines of communication to figure out what’s best for us and our child.
Marriage is a daily choice. While I didn’t explicitly state it on June 21, 2015, I vow to prioritize Tom, to work through any petty arguments, to always put our son first, and most importantly, to never see him as an obligation but rather as my cherished choice. He deserves to be the best part of my life, just as I deserve that same honor. And if that ever wavers, I promise to speak up. He will never be a duty, but an extraordinary decision.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this informative resource on intracervical insemination. Additionally, for more insights, visit Genetics and IVF Institute, an excellent source for pregnancy and home insemination.
For those exploring self-insemination, Cryobaby’s home intracervical insemination syringe kit is a great authority on the topic.
In summary, marriage is a dynamic, evolving journey that requires daily choices and commitments. It’s about embracing the characteristics that brought you together while navigating the challenges that arise over time.