Back in the days of my pre-mom life, I was quite the fashionista. But then my little bundles of joy arrived, and everything I wore was smeared with boogers and Nutella. For years, I became a human napkin, and my wardrobe reflected that shift—hello, “Wow, She’s Clearly Given Up” look. But now that my kids are older and no longer using me as a vomit receptacle, I’m ready to reclaim my style! It’s time for “Wow, She’s Actually Wearing Clothes That Aren’t Yoga Pants!”
As I embark on this fashion revival, I decided to add some trendy pieces to my worn-out closet. One particular style caught my attention: the cold-shoulder top. A quick online search or a stroll through any store reveals that the fashion world has gone shoulder-crazy this spring and summer.
Do You Have Shoulders?
Do you have shoulders? Great! Because if not, you might be in trouble with this trend. Here’s the thing: your shoulders shouldn’t be warm. They need to be cold—cold shoulders are all the rage! This style features off-the-shoulder or shoulder-cutout blouses that are everywhere. Seriously, they’re practically taking over the fashion scene. It’s as if there was a decree stating, “No more covering shoulders—let them be bare and free!”
You can find these tops everywhere, and I’ve seen friends sporting them in various ways. Even Beyoncé rocked a cold shoulder while performing. It’s impossible to escape the trend. My warm, covered shoulders felt like a fashion faux pas, and I knew I had to join the cold-shoulder movement.
So, like the trend-loving sheep that I am, I snagged a few off-the-shoulder tops as soon as they went on sale. What’s not to love? They’re romantic and flirty, and I’ve always been fond of my shoulders since they’re one of the few parts of my body untouched by cellulite—at least for now. Plus, many of these tops feature flowy sleeves that hide my less-than-favorite upper arms. Hooray for sleeves!
The Downsides
However, there are downsides. Most of these tops require a strapless bra, which I dread. Let’s be real: my bust situation is akin to carrying two wriggly newborns. I typically rely on sturdy bras with straps as wide as a BabyBjörn just to keep everything in place. The first time I wore one of these trendy tops, I found myself constantly adjusting my bra straps, only to end up with my cleavage somewhere near my belly button by the end of the night. Not exactly the sexy vibe I was going for!
And let’s talk about the practicality of these tops. When you raise your arms—say, at your niece’s graduation ceremony or while reaching for those secret snacks you hide from your kids—these tops tend to slide right up, exposing everything while also creating a choking hazard. Congratulations, you’ve just become a walking fashion disaster!
Some versions feature shoulder cutouts, which I could tolerate with a well-behaved bra, but others look like they’ve been attacked by a giant bird of prey. Honestly, I could just grab some scissors and create my own cold-shoulder looks for a fraction of the cost.
What’s Next?
What’s next? Will we be donning shoulder-less sweaters come fall, when our cold shoulders will actually be freezing? Do we pair them with cutout jackets? I’m just trying to stay stylish, but I’m left wondering if the cold-shoulder trend has run its course.
And if anyone spots bleach-stained pajama tops in the fashion world, let me know—I’m rocking those right now!
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Conclusion
In summary, while the cold-shoulder trend may bring a fresh look, it’s not without its challenges. From the struggle of finding the right undergarments to the awkward adjustments needed throughout the day, this trend might just be more trouble than it’s worth. As I navigate my fashion journey, I’ll keep an eye out for more comfortable styles that won’t leave me feeling like a fashion victim.