Navigating the world of parenting a tween girl is no small feat. Most days, I feel like a programmed machine, repeating the same phrases endlessly, only to be met with exaggerated sighs and dramatic eye rolls. Afternoons are spent anxiously waiting for her return from school, carefully selecting my words to gauge her mood.
She tends to immerse herself in her iPad, often holding it just inches from her face, headphones securely in place. Just last night, she walked directly into her father in the hallway, claiming she “didn’t see him” despite his frantic waving and yelling.
A new trend I’ve noticed recently is her calling me “Mother,” abandoning the more casual “Mom.” Ninety-eight percent of the time I get a response from her, it’s a curt “I know, Mother.” Some days, she says this while I’m still talking, leading me to think she might one day pursue a career as a fortune teller or an actress on a mystery show.
Given that our exchanges often revolve around me trying to guide her towards being a responsible individual (like when I remind her to close the drawers she leaves open), I’ve resorted to interpreting what she really means when she responds with that phrase. Here are some possibilities I’ve come up with:
- I know better than you.
- You’re clueless.
- I genuinely didn’t catch a word you just said.
- I want my friend to have a sleepover, so I’m playing nice.
- Your speech is just background noise to me.
- I can’t believe I’m one of the few without a phone/TV in my room, an identity crisis, or a car I can’t even drive for another three years.
- Instead of tidying up, I’ve crammed all my clothes into a bin under my bed.
- I’m not listening, so I might accidentally do what you asked out of sheer luck.
- What’s got you so worked up?
- I’m confused.
- You don’t get it.
- Nobody understands me.
- You’re so embarrassing.
- If I do what you’re asking, can I get a new sweater?
- I know I promised, but I’m too drained from binge-watching shows to follow through.
- I promise I don’t have homework.
- What on earth are you talking about?
- I’m feeling down.
- I’m frustrated.
- I love you.
It feels like just yesterday when she would eagerly follow me around and share her secrets. Now, it seems she wants nothing to do with me. These days, I would do almost anything to connect with her, making the last statement more of a hopeful wish than a definitive answer. If I listen closely, I’m certain I can hear her whispering it, even as she rolls her eyes in classic tween fashion.
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In summary, understanding a tween’s communication can feel like decoding a complex puzzle. While their words may often seem dismissive or unclear, beneath the surface, they might be expressing a range of emotions from frustration to love.