Ah, summer. For those of us who are stay-at-home or work-from-home parents, it offers a welcome break from the rigid school-year routine. Sure, there are still a million things to juggle, but at least we can enjoy some freedom for a few months. However, summer also brings a whole new set of challenges. And no, I’m not just referring to the endless popsicle consumption (seriously, I could fund a small country with the number of times I’ve exclaimed, “I just bought these!”).
The real issue arises when your home becomes the go-to destination for other parents eager to offload their kids as soon as they hear the dreaded phrase, “I’m bored!” You know the type: they ring your doorbell before you’ve had your morning coffee and stick around until you find yourself awkwardly suggesting, “Uh, shouldn’t you check in with your parents?” I’m talking about the kids who waltz in every day, devouring your snacks and enjoying your air conditioning like they’ve always lived here.
Now, don’t get me wrong—I appreciate my kids having their friends over to play. That’s what summer is for, after all, and it helps keep the peace at home. But when I open the door only to see little Oliver from next door, who was just here yesterday for six hours and is probably aiming for a new record today, I find myself in a bit of a dilemma.
Telling a child they can’t come in can feel like a betrayal, and I certainly don’t want to set a poor example. But I also can’t be completely honest and say, “Hey, Oliver, you’re here all the time and it’s starting to get on everyone’s nerves,” because I want to teach my kids the importance of being inclusive. So, I let him in once again, secretly hoping he’ll find it boring enough to head back home.
Spoiler alert: he never does.
Meanwhile, he’s munching through snacks at the same alarming rate as my own kids, and when lunchtime rolls around, there he is with a plate in hand. As for his parents, they seem blissfully unaware of his prolonged absence—often it’s not even clear if they know where he is.
I totally understand the allure of having someone else watch your kids during the summer. It’s why summer camps are so popular—they provide structured activities with adults who know the kids will be there during specific hours. But here’s the thing: at summer camp, parents pay for that service, knowing their kids are supervised and engaged.
I, too, would love a quiet afternoon to myself. But that rarely happens, and do you want to know why? Because I realize that sending my children to other people’s homes uninvited—without any agreed-upon time limit—is just plain rude.
I want the freedom to roam around my house in comfort without worrying about scarring anyone other than my own kids, who are used to my less-than-formal attire. I want to buy snacks that will last longer than two days instead of watching them disappear in a frenzy. I need to focus on my work with minimal interruptions (and trust me, I already get enough interruptions from my own kids).
And let’s be honest: I’m not particularly keen on being responsible for a child whose household rules don’t align with mine. Yet, when you’re the adult present, the responsibility falls on you to supervise. It’s frustrating when other parents unintentionally place that burden on you. Turning a child away might hurt their feelings, but I recognize that it’s not their fault.
So, to all parents out there, please be mindful of where your kids are this summer. A simple text or call before sending them over can make a world of difference. If you want them gone for a significant part of the day, consider investing in daycare services. After all, my home is not a daycare facility.
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In summary, while summer brings joy and a break from routine, it also requires parents to set boundaries and communicate effectively with one another for the sake of everyone’s peace of mind.