Updated: June 16, 2021
Originally Published: March 2, 2017
Five years ago, I welcomed my first child into the world and found myself pondering what motherhood truly entailed. My partner and I were novices when it came to caregiving; we had never even changed a diaper or held a newborn. Our ineptitude with plants, evidenced by our inability to keep a succulent alive, only compounded our anxiety.
To our surprise, parenting our first child was relatively manageable. He took to breastfeeding and bottle-feeding without issue, slept through the night by six weeks, and rarely cried, whether he was held or placed in a swing. Overall, he was a pretty self-sufficient little guy.
However, the experience with our second child has been a different story. We now have what I refer to as a “Velcro baby.” For those unfamiliar, a Velcro baby is one who clings to you at all times, and their unhappy screams will echo if they are removed from your embrace. This dynamic can be quite dramatic, as their happiness hinges on being nestled in your arms.
Now, before you envision this as a fairy tale, let’s be real: sometimes, you just need to use the bathroom or shave your legs. A Velcro baby wants to be on you constantly—during meals, naps, and even playtime. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips for survival:
1. Invest in a Baby Carrier
If you don’t already own a Baby Bjorn, Moby wrap, or another type of baby carrier, it’s time to make a trip to Target. These carriers are lifesavers, allowing you to keep your baby close while still getting things done around the house—whether it’s cooking, folding laundry, or even attempting to apply makeup (who has time for that, anyway?). Plus, you’re strengthening your muscles while carrying your little one, so you can skip the gym.
2. Seek Assistance
It’s unrealistic to think you can pause your entire life to hold your baby all day. Many of us have jobs, other children, or responsibilities that require our attention. Find help wherever you can—from family, friends, or even a babysitter. In my case, I chose to enroll my baby in a Mother’s Day Out program two days a week, which has been a game-changer for my sanity. While this option may not be feasible for everyone, it provides an opportunity for both you and your baby to benefit from social interaction.
3. Let Them Cry Occasionally
While it can be heartbreaking to hear your baby cry, it’s essential to accept that this is a normal part of their development. If you have a Velcro baby, they may cry more than average. Learn to tune it out, or consider using earplugs or a white noise machine. Remember, many parents have survived similar situations, and your baby will too. In fact, some research suggests that allowing babies to cry from time to time could even be beneficial.
4. Have a Plan for Crib Transitions
Getting your baby to sleep in their crib instead of on top of you is essential for your rest. Creating a routine can make this process smoother. Change their diaper, dim the lights, and dress them for bed before their last feeding. Once they’re asleep, teamwork is key. My partner and I employ some stealthy maneuvers to transition our baby from our arms to the crib without waking her.
5. Engage in Activities Outside the Home
Getting out of the house is crucial for both your baby’s social development and your mental health. Join a local gym or music class where you can hold your baby while participating in activities. This not only offers a change of scenery but also provides opportunities for your baby to meet other children. Plus, social gatherings are a great way to find someone willing to hold your baby, granting you precious moments of peace.
Raising a Velcro baby can be overwhelming, but remember: it’s just a phase. My experience with my first child had me focused on chores and tasks, but being forced to slow down with my second has allowed me to truly appreciate these fleeting moments. Who needs spotless dishes or perfectly folded laundry anyway?
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Summary
Parenting a Velcro baby can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can find balance. Invest in a carrier, seek help, allow for occasional crying, have a crib transition plan, and engage in social activities. Remember, this phase won’t last forever, and taking time to appreciate these moments can be rewarding.