As I scrolled through my social media feed recently, I came across a widely shared post featuring an older gentleman in a sharp suit and a condescending grin, captioned, “Doctor Advises Parents — ‘You’re Doing It All Wrong.’”
This type of content is everywhere. It often comes from physicians, psychologists, or seasoned parents from the baby boomer generation. Regardless of the source, the underlying message is always the same: Millennial parents are failing. As a millennial parent myself, I find it increasingly frustrating to encounter yet another critique about how I’m raising my kids.
It’s easy to pinpoint obvious mistakes in parenting. If you decide to hit happy hour while your child is napping, that’s questionable. Or, if you accidentally put a diaper on the baby’s head instead of their bottom, that’s a clear error. And allowing a toddler to sip hot coffee before they’re potty trained? Definitely wrong. But those glaring mistakes aren’t what these criticisms focus on.
Instead, the critiques revolve around our parenting styles: how we communicate with our children, the discipline techniques we employ, the nutrition we provide, and much more. We’re often told we’re too lenient, or perhaps too strict. Some say we set unrealistic expectations for our children, while others argue we don’t give them enough attention. It seems there’s no winning; whatever approach we take can be labeled as incorrect.
Millennial parents face significant challenges, including the need for fair wages, adequate family leave, and solutions to student debt, not to mention the ever-elusive quest for sleep. However, we are inundated with information. Baby boomers frequently criticize millennials for being glued to their devices, but what they don’t realize is that many of us are researching the latest studies, perhaps even chastising ourselves for not taking omega-3 supplements during pregnancy to potentially mitigate asthma risks for our children.
With countless parenting books at our fingertips and daily updates on new studies and product recalls, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We don’t even have to step outside to encounter judgment from fellow parents; online forums provide ample opportunities for that. While having access to abundant information can be beneficial for making informed decisions, the pressure of making the “right” choices can feel suffocating.
In my small pockets of free time, I would much rather endure the incessant whining of a cartoon than listen to yet another discourse on how millennial parents are ruining their children’s lives.
That said, I do value the perspectives of baby boomers who have navigated the ups and downs of parenting. I understand that those with grown children often have a clearer sense of what truly matters in raising kids. I acknowledge that there may be some validity to the critiques, and in the future, I might look back and cringe at certain choices I made—just as baby boomers might feel about the outdated safety practices they once employed, like those old-fashioned car seats or lawn darts.
So, if you believe we’re making significant mistakes, please allow us the grace to figure it out. Most of us are just trying our best, despite frequently feeling lost. We genuinely love our kids and want to provide them with the best life possible. So, a little faith in our abilities would go a long way. If that seems too much to ask, maybe just close your eyes and trust that we’re doing our best, much like you did when your cousin threw a lawn dart.
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Summary
Millennial parents face heavy criticism for their parenting styles from older generations. While they are often overwhelmed by information and societal pressures, it’s important to recognize their love and commitment to raising their children. A supportive approach, rather than judgment, can foster a healthier parenting environment.