My little one is almost 2, part of a delightful lineage of toddlers I’ve had the joy of raising. Let’s be real though—toddlers can be the most challenging little roommates! While many parents often reflect on how tough it is to apologize to their kids, I think it’s high time my toddler owed me a few heartfelt apologies. If she ever had a moment of clarity and decided to make amends, here’s what I’d like to hear:
- I’m sorry for taking three bites of three bananas and then hiding them under the armchair. That was beyond rude and really baffling, not to mention quite the strain on our grocery budget. I hope you’ll still help fund my future education.
- Remember when I thought it would be hilarious to pour water on Mom’s new laptop? That was really inconsiderate and costly. I honestly thought water belonged there, but clearly, I was mistaken. I hope you can forgive me.
- I sincerely apologize for unintentionally ruining your intimate moments.
- Last month, when I had an accident in the tub and then got distracted by the plunger, I realize now how frustrating that must have been for you. I’m sorry for making a mess while you were trying to clean up. I promise to start using the toilet…tomorrow.
- I regret wearing your underwear on my head while the neighbors were over with a quiche. It was awkward, and I can only imagine what they’re saying about your boxer shorts now.
- I know I scream for a Popsicle every time I see one, and that must be really annoying. I’m going to try to ask politely from now on.
- I apologize for wiping my boogers on your jeans. I’ll make sure to use a tissue going forward.
- I promise I won’t take my pants off in public again.
- Next time you’re sitting on the couch, I vow not to stomp on your lap. I just get so excited sometimes, which might explain why I don’t have a little sibling yet.
- Do you remember when I tossed your wallet in the trash? It seemed funny at the moment, but I realize now it was a pretty silly thing to do. I owe you a drink!
- I can’t believe I kept you awake all night because I couldn’t find a comfy position. That was inconsiderate, especially since you had to work while I napped all day. I’m sorry for that; it won’t happen again.
- I apologize for the time I accidentally threw up in your mouth.
- Breaking your glasses with a toy saw was not my finest moment. I thought it was funny at the time, but I see now it was a jerk move, especially since you had to go without for a week.
- I can’t control when I have an accident, but I promise to be more cooperative during changes. No more crying or trying to eat my diaper!
- I promise never to jab my finger in your eye again when you try to hug me. I love you, Mom!
Are these apologies too much to hope for? Sadly, yes. But a parent can dream!
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Summary
In this light-hearted post, Jamie Collins shares a humorous list of apologies she wishes to hear from her toddler. From hiding bananas to accidentally ruining glasses, each apology highlights the chaotic yet lovable nature of toddlerhood while reinforcing the bond between parent and child.