When I welcomed my first child, I succumbed to the misconception that women could effortlessly “bounce back” within days of childbirth, seamlessly returning to their usual routines while embodying the hyper-capable personas society expects of us. Eager to prove this theory, I found myself cooking, cleaning, and entertaining guests with a newborn only days old.
Soon, however, I spiraled into panic attacks and severe postpartum anxiety, compounded by an unusually lengthy recovery period. Reflecting on this experience, I realized my struggle was directly linked to my decision to push myself too hard too soon following childbirth.
Determined not to repeat this pattern with my second child, I embraced the concept of a “babymoon.” In the world of holistic parenting, this means clearing your schedule and spending several weeks in bed with your newborn—resting, nursing, and bonding. While this might seem unrealistic to many, I was resolute in making it a reality, knowing the toll my first experience took on my health.
I asked my partner, Mark, to take two weeks off work to support me and care for our older child. Naturally, I worried about the financial implications and the potential strain on our relationship, but ultimately, I have no regrets. I deserved that time, and it fostered a sense of strength, health, and stability that lasted long after those initial weeks. This decision was not merely a sacrifice; it was an investment in my wellbeing and, consequently, my family’s.
Here are several compelling reasons why every woman deserves a period of rest and care after giving birth:
1. Your Uterus Needs Time to Heal.
The uterus is a remarkable organ, expanding greatly during pregnancy and requiring up to six weeks to return to its pre-pregnancy state. This process, known as involution, isn’t without discomfort, including intense afterpains and postpartum bleeding that can exceed what one might experience during menstruation.
2. Healing Is Essential for Your Body.
For those who have undergone a C-section, keeping away from the incision site is paramount. Even if you have had a vaginal birth with no significant tearing, it’s crucial to rest rather than engage in heavy lifting or strenuous activities. Prioritize your recovery by staying in bed.
3. Hormonal Shifts Require Adjustment.
During pregnancy, hormone levels soar significantly, only to plummet in the postpartum period. This sudden change can lead to the “baby blues” experienced by many mothers. Coupled with sleep deprivation and stress, the journey back to hormonal equilibrium can be challenging.
4. Breastfeeding Benefits from Rest.
Stress can affect milk production; therefore, taking time for self-care can be beneficial for breastfeeding mothers. The hormone oxytocin, vital for milk letdown, is influenced by stress levels, making relaxation a key component for successful breastfeeding.
5. Your Entire Body Is Transforming.
The transition from carrying a baby to returning to your pre-pregnancy self involves numerous physical changes. Internal organs shift back into place, and you might experience hair loss and excessive sweating due to hormonal fluctuations.
6. Historical Context of Rest.
In Colonial America, women observed a “lying in” period, spending three to four weeks recuperating after childbirth while family and friends helped with daily tasks. Similar traditions persist globally, such as the “30 days in pajamas” practice in China, which, despite its critics, emphasizes the importance of rest and bonding.
7. Time to Build Connection with Your Baby.
Some mothers may feel pressured to experience an instant bond with their newborn, but this can take time. You deserve uninterrupted moments to cultivate that connection without external distractions.
I recognize that many of you may be thinking, “This is ideal, but how can I make this happen?” Financial constraints or lack of support can make it challenging. Even if a full two-week babymoon isn’t feasible, consider strategies to facilitate your recovery: limit visitors, encourage them to bring meals, and create a chore list for anyone willing to help.
If you’re expecting and want to plan your well-deserved babymoon, start now. Instead of traditional baby gifts, request gift cards for housecleaning services or postpartum doulas, or even cash to fund the assistance you need. Research potential leave options for your partner, whether paid or unpaid. Most importantly, advocate for yourself. The myth that mothers should simply revert to their pre-baby lives is outdated; taking time for self-care and recovery is not a privilege but a right that all postpartum women deserve.
So go ahead, claim your well-deserved babymoon, and indulge in the rest and care you need.
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Summary
Every mother deserves a postpartum babymoon, a time dedicated to rest and recovery after childbirth. The healing process for the body, hormones, and emotional connections with the baby all require significant attention. While not all mothers can take extended leave, they can still implement strategies that prioritize their well-being during this transformative time.