Chores play a crucial role in childhood development. They instill a sense of responsibility, promote teamwork at home, and teach an invaluable lesson: life isn’t simply an endless parade of preferred activities. For my kids, chores are particularly essential; they keep me from considering more drastic options when the circus rolls into town.
However, when you encounter a dishwasher loaded like a game of Tetris gone wrong, you quickly realize that effective help is hard to come by. So, who should be held accountable? After a frantic search for traditional scapegoats—think cartoons, video games, and their dad (the notorious dishwasher-loading innovator)—I came to a sobering conclusion: “No one ever is to blame,” as Howard Jones said. Except for me, of course, standing in a state of despair, grappling with the fact that proper chore training is just another responsibility I’ve failed to manage.
This train of thought led me to a critical epiphany: parenting often feels like managing the most incompetent employees imaginable, with no one to blame for their shortcomings but yourself. I had this realization while on my knees, wrestling with a load of recycling buried in the depths of the green waste bin, all while sidestepping an intricate web of spider silk. And let me tell you, refraining from swearing as my neighbors watched was no easy feat!
This scenario brought back memories of my childhood. Back in elementary school—before the age of the internet—we programmed a turtle to draw lines on our Apple IIe computers. This was cutting-edge tech education, especially for us in the gifted program. As part of our training, we were tasked with “programming” our classmates to tie their shoes, which required us to detail every step in precise terms. The challenge was to be as unhelpful as possible while following the instructions. The lesson? Teaching someone how to tie a shoe is a meticulous process that demands careful articulation. The takeaway: programming, whether for computers or kids, is incredibly tough.
The approach applied to turtle graphics is equally necessary when instructing children on how to perform chores. They can be just as much of a challenge as any middle schooler in a computer lab back in ’85. You find yourself issuing commands like: “Make sure the vacuum is turned all the way on, or it won’t pick up any dirt,” or “Please don’t use the bathroom towels to clean the floor.” And my personal favorite: “Use a new bleach wipe for the sink that is different from the one you used for the toilet.” These are actual instructions I’ve provided, only to realize my little turtles seem to lack even the basic common sense.
Growing up, I was firmly rooted in the middle class, a term that varies depending on where you reside. In my Midwestern upbringing, being middle class meant we didn’t have a housekeeper or gardener. My mom was a firm believer in doing things herself, with us kids serving as her willing workforce. We mowed lawns, weeded gardens, and scrubbed bathrooms. We tackled everything from dusting to cleaning out the garage. Sure, we didn’t live on a prairie, but we still stacked wood!
Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m not immune to the “we’re too good to clean our toilets” mentality. I’ve enjoyed the luxury of a housecleaner for over a decade, and don’t even get me started on what I pay the gardeners for their “mow and blow” services. However, my recent move has left me without a housecleaner, testing my sanity to its limits. Today was a tipping point when my fingernail unearthed something squishy at the bottom of the green waste barrel—something I couldn’t identify by sight or touch.
Still, I can’t shake the belief that chores are an essential part of life. I had to do them, as did my siblings and everyone I knew. My children will too, and I’m determined to teach them in a way that would make my sixth-grade computer teacher proud. I’ll start right after I give my nails a thorough disinfecting soak.
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Summary
Assigning chores to children can often feel like managing untrained employees, leading to moments of frustration and humor. Despite the chaos, it’s essential for their growth and development. Learning how to delegate effectively, just like programming a computer, is part of the parenting journey.
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