For as long as I can recall, the moment I open my eyes each morning, my mind kicks into overdrive. My to-do list assaults me before I can even appreciate the beauty of the day. It’s a reflex I can’t shake, no matter how hard I try to enjoy the moment and shake off the morning haze. Anxiety creeps in, seeking to consume me each and every day.
My fingers find their way to my hair, twisting and twirling as I search for an outlet for that incessant nervous energy. This habit has been with me for as long as I can remember. In the past, I chewed my nails and even turned to cigarettes, trying to hide those habits in the shadows of buildings or while sitting alone in my car. My mind was always racing, jumping straight to what needed to be done next.
Living with high-functioning anxiety means that sometimes your nervous energy can either freeze you in place or propel you into action. And when it kicks in, you know how to get things done! Others may see you as composed and put-together, but the truth is, the stillness can be unbearable, driving you to keep moving. Relaxation? That’s not in your vocabulary.
Like so many who deal with high-functioning anxiety, I find myself in this daily ritual. It’s uncomfortable, but after grappling with anxiety for so long, you become oddly familiar with discomfort. According to statistics, around 18% of adults experience some form of anxiety. You might seem calm on the outside, yet inside, you’re constantly questioning how to improve yourself. You become adept at dissecting your own thoughts, using them as fuel to push forward. On the surface, you may appear productive, but deep down, you’re exhausted. It’s a complex mix of feeling good and feeling overwhelmed.
If you often find yourself plagued by thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I should be working harder,” or “How can I improve this?” yet still manage to carry on, let me tell you: you are a badass. You wade through your own struggles and recognize that those negative thoughts don’t define you, even when their weight feels crushing. This ability to see through your own nonsense is a superpower that helps you spot it in others, too.
You excel at uplifting those around you because you know firsthand what it’s like to feel inadequate. You refuse to let anyone you care about be controlled by their feelings. And you understand that feelings are valid; they can’t just be wished away with phrases like, “You shouldn’t feel that way” or “Just get over it.” You know better, and so you extend that empathy to others.
You can put on a brave face when needed, but there are times when you need to vent—sharing your struggles can help you navigate the dark paths you’re trying to escape. And deep down, you want to overcome those challenges because you are tougher than you realize.
It’s frustrating to hear things like “Don’t let it get to you,” “Don’t be so sensitive,” or “Just calm down.” You’re tired of the well-meaning advice from those who don’t understand the battle within. You’ve tried to change, and while it’s not easy, you embrace your strengths because they are significant.
Through your journey, you discover that activities like exercise, pursuing hobbies, or simply being around others can alleviate some anxiety. You keep yourself busy because when you’re anxious, you’re also in tune with your own feelings. You know what triggers discomfort and can quickly identify situations or people to avoid. You’re not afraid to say no or ask for what you need; you are simply amazing.
Every day, you push through, reminding yourself that when thoughts like “I just can’t today” arise, you have the strength to persevere. You’ve done it before; you are a resilient badass, deserving of your best life.
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In summary, living with high-functioning anxiety is a daily challenge, but it also equips you with unique strengths and resilience. While it can feel heavy at times, embracing your journey makes you stronger, allowing you to support others and thrive in your own life.
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