“Are you ready?” he asks, his voice steady.
“Um, yeah. I think so,” I reply nervously. I shift the car into drive and cautiously lift my foot off the brake.
“Give it a little gas,” he instructs. I do, and the car jolts forward like a toddler taking its first steps. I slam on the brakes, and we both lurch back in our seats, the seat belts pulling tight.
“Rule number one,” Dad says firmly. “Always wear a seat belt. Now, let’s give it another go.”
Growing up in St. Louis, Missouri, during the mid-’80s meant that I could obtain a full driver’s license at 16. A few months before my birthday, my dad and I embarked on a series of weekend driving sessions, taking over empty parking lots and quiet streets. As an eager teenager, I thought a few quick lessons would suffice to conquer the road. I quickly realized how mistaken I was. Here are some valuable lessons my dad imparted on driving—and life itself:
1. Hands at 10 and 2
In the beginning, I had my hands all over the steering wheel, which drove my dad crazy. He insisted that the safest, most stable position was at 10 and 2, like a clock’s hands. Over time, my grip has shifted—sometimes resting at the bottom during long trips or hanging over the top while stuck in traffic. I often find myself driving with one hand, passing snacks to my three kids in the backseat. Yet, I feel most secure when my hands are at 10 and 2, just as he taught me. Exploring new methods can be thrilling, but returning to fundamentals is essential when it counts.
2. Never Solely Depend on Your Mirrors
Mastering the use of rear and side-view mirrors took some practice. Once I got comfortable, Dad reminded me that while mirrors help monitor my surroundings, they weren’t enough for changing lanes. I needed to glance over my shoulder to confirm it was safe. This idea terrified me. How could I drive without looking straight ahead? He encouraged me to trust myself, explaining that being aware of what’s behind me is just as crucial as what’s ahead.
3. Steer into the Skid
Growing up in the snowy Midwest, I learned quickly that school rarely canceled, even when the roads were icy. Dad’s advice to steer into a skid seemed counterintuitive until I experienced it firsthand. I remembered his words as I slid across our icy street, and steering into the skid helped me regain control. Facing challenges directly may feel unnatural, but it’s often the best way to navigate through them.
4. Come to a Complete Stop
St. Louis is known for its numerous four-way stops, each with its own set of rules. When no cars are around, it’s tempting to roll through without stopping. However, this can lead to accidents or hefty tickets (which I’ve received). Taking a moment to come to a full stop allows you to assess the situation and decide your next move—who knows, you might even choose to go a different route.
5. If You Ever Need a Ride, Call Me
My parents were wise to the happenings at high school parties. Whether it was me or a friend driving, Dad always made sure I had quarters in my purse for a phone call if I ever needed a ride. I rolled my eyes, thinking I could handle everything alone. After one night being stranded at Steak ‘n Shake, I finally took him up on his offer. It’s okay to ask for help—no one has to face everything alone.
The lessons I learned from my dad during those driving sessions didn’t fully resonate with me at the time. As a parent now, I often hear his voice reminding me to keep both hands on the wheel (even when one of the kids is begging for a snack), come to a full stop (even when we’re running late), and remember that the rearview mirror doesn’t always show the complete picture. Soon, my oldest will be of driving age, and I look forward to sharing these rules of the road along with some essential life lessons of my own. For more insights on starting a new journey in life, check out this one of our other blog posts.
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In summary, the road to adulthood is filled with lessons that extend far beyond driving. From the importance of safety to the value of asking for help, these experiences shape our approach to life’s challenges.
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