From a young age, I’ve battled anxiety. I often found myself trapped in a whirlwind of obsessive thoughts about school, friendships, and the fear of getting into trouble. As a teenager, I developed various phobias, including a fear of flying and agoraphobia. The events of 9/11, which I experienced firsthand in New York City, left me with lingering symptoms of PTSD. Thankfully, I eventually found a therapist who provided me with practical strategies to manage my panic attacks.
Despite the countless hours spent in cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation sessions, and physical exercise, my anxiety still lingers, ready to strike when I least expect it. One of the most significant epiphanies I’ve had as I’ve matured is the acceptance of my anxiety disorder. I recognize it as a hereditary trait that is woven into the fabric of who I am. Recently, I’ve come to appreciate that alongside my anxiety lies a unique energy that makes me, well… extraordinary.
Don’t get me wrong: when I’m crouched in a bathroom, my heart racing and panic threatening to consume me, it’s hard to see anything extraordinary about anxiety. Yet, I can now recognize that many of my most admirable qualities are intertwined with my anxious tendencies. For instance:
1. I possess a vivid imagination.
Yes, it’s the same imagination that sometimes leads me to believe that the bus I’m riding has hidden explosives. But it’s also the spark that fuels my creativity as a writer and poet. It allows me to whip up a fantastic meal from the leftover odds and ends in my fridge and transforms mundane shopping trips with my kids into thrilling jungle expeditions. I truly cherish this gift.
2. I have an unwavering drive for achievement.
I admit I’m quite the perfectionist—okay, maybe more than just a bit. My anxiety flares up when things go awry, but it also means I approach every task with dedication and care. I am reliable, resolute, and honest. Sure, my perfectionism might irritate some, but I take pride in delivering high-quality work every time.
3. I experience emotions intensely and openly.
Growing up, I was captivated by the fairy tale of The Princess and the Pea because it resonated with my experiences. I feel emotions deeply—not just my own but also those of everyone around me. While this sensitivity can lead to overwhelm and anxiety, it also nurtures my empathy. I’m in tune with my feelings and unafraid to express them.
4. I am constantly concerned about others and the state of the world.
My empathy extends beyond familiar faces. I often think about strangers I encounter and deeply care about social issues. I find myself losing sleep over the struggles of the hungry, homeless, and hurting. While it’s not always healthy to dwell on every little thing, it underscores my passion for making a positive impact in the world.
5. I am brave every single day.
Some days, the flood of stress hormones makes it tough to leave my home. Yet, I still care for my children, meet work obligations, and navigate daily life even when I feel like I’m unraveling inside. When I struggle, I sometimes beat myself up for not being able to simply “get over it.” However, I’ve started to remind myself that showing up and doing what needs to be done despite living with an anxiety disorder is a testament to my courage.
While I wouldn’t wish my anxiety on anyone, and during a panic episode, the only thing I desire is relief, I’ve begun to ponder what would happen if my anxiety vanished. Would I lose the unique gifts that accompany it? It’s a thought-provoking question, and I’m inclined to say no. As challenging as anxiety can be, if it contributes to the person I am, I’ll gladly embrace it.
For more insights on navigating anxiety, check out one of our other blog posts that dives deeper into related experiences. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, visit Make A Mom for a reputable selection of insemination kits. Additionally, for an excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, explore Medical News Today.
Summary:
Anxiety often comes with a host of challenges, but it also gifts us with unique strengths. From deep imagination and empathy to a relentless pursuit of success, anxiety shapes our identity in meaningful ways. Embracing these traits can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life, even amid the chaos.
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