I had it all figured out. I intended to share how regular intimacy can significantly enhance a relationship. I was ready to list the reasons why I find joy in being physically close to my partner, and how those moments of connection bring us happiness, increase his willingness to help around the house, and remind us of simpler times, like when we first met.
“He’s so much more eager to pitch in after some quality time,” I would have said. “It’s a proven fact.”
Our rhythm was dependable, with intimacy occurring every other day. We often pretended it was spontaneous because the idea of scheduling intimacy seemed dull. It was like saying, “Oh look! We magically ended up in bed together again, just 48 hours after the last time. What a coincidence!”
And it worked for us.
But then life threw us a curveball. Not the typical challenges like pregnancy or sleepless nights with a newborn, but something much heavier: illness, job changes, and emotional upheaval that felt like an earthquake.
When I face that kind of pressure, I tend to shut down. My skin reacts, I get canker sores, and my body forgets its usual rhythms—even though I thought I was past all that after my uterine ablation. My body seemed to have other ideas.
Even though I know that intimacy should be a priority—right alongside my children, self-care, and everything else deemed important—it swiftly slipped to the bottom of my to-do list. And when I say it dropped, I mean it plummeted like a rock.
In a way, it makes sense scientifically; when I’m overwhelmed, intimacy is the last thing on my mind. In crisis mode, my priorities shift dramatically—showering barely makes the cut.
I braced myself for the worst in my relationship. I anticipated arguments, resentment, and strain.
But none of that happened.
Instead, my partner stepped up. He massaged my shoulders, brought me coffee, and held me close even when I couldn’t muster the energy to return the embrace. He listened to my worries without trying to fix everything and quietly supported me when I was too exhausted to articulate what I needed.
He took care of the kids when I needed a moment to breathe, managed phone calls, and took care of errands without expecting anything in return. He simply acted, showing his love through service.
I had always thought that intimacy was the cornerstone of our marriage, but I realized I was mistaken. The true foundation is built on an attitude of care and support. I never fully appreciated how deeply my partner cared for me until he took on the role of caretaker during my struggles.
I guess all those moments of intimacy paid off in unexpected ways.
If you’re looking for more insights on home insemination, check out this post on intracervical insemination. Also, if you want to delve deeper into the subject, Cryobaby offers excellent resources. For comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit UCSF’s Center.
In summary, when intimacy became less of a priority in my life, my partner’s unwavering support proved to be the real glue holding our relationship together. It’s not just about the moments of connection; it’s also about the love and care we extend to one another during tough times.