Ah, the witching hour. It’s not a full hour, really, but that chaotic window between 5 and 7 p.m. when you find yourself juggling dinner, baths, getting dressed, and somehow getting the little ones to sleep. This is when your parenting skills are truly put to the test.
In my home, this is prime time for all sorts of delightful mayhem. Hair gets pulled, limbs are nibbled on, food is launched, and toys are obliterated. And that’s just me! The kids are racing around like wild animals, and I’m desperately trying to crank up the news on the TV to drown out the noise. Wine is my constant companion during this time—let’s just say there’s a lot of it.
Caught in this time warp, I often feel completely drained from the day. The noise is more grating than earlier, and the tantrums seem to reach epic proportions. If I’ve gone all out and prepared some healthy meal that I thought they’d actually enjoy, I’m incredibly frustrated when they refuse to even try a single bite. Cue the instant noodles or eggs on toast. And yes, if I’m really at my wit’s end, it might even be cornflakes. Don’t judge—corn is a vegetable, fruit, and grain, so there!
After dinner, it’s a scene straight out of a circus. The kids are running around in their birthday suits, while the dog is busy investigating the toddler’s latest accident. I need more wine. And definitely more when I’m on my hands and knees cleaning up messes, only to find out that my little one has decided to turn the bathtub into a slip-and-slide. The older kid now picks this moment to have an epic meltdown of their own, and I’m left holding my breath as I endure the smell. It’s only 5:45 p.m. at this point.
Bath time drags on until the water is ice cold and the kids are shivering. It’s still only 6:15 p.m., and I find myself wishing for an escape. More wine, please. I chase after them to get them dressed, but they are like greased lightning, darting around the house, giggling from their hiding spots.
Eventually, I manage to wrangle one into pajamas, only to discover the other has wreaked havoc on my makeup collection. Eyeshadow everywhere, lipsticks capped incorrectly, and an entire bottle of perfume spilled. There’s a puddle on the floor, and my little one is now screaming from exhaustion. I swiftly toss him into bed, skipping the story in hopes of salvaging the situation.
The end is in sight. I read a book to the one who insists on it, fill up the drink bottle, put on the socks, switch on the night light, and even sing a slightly altered version of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” If luck is on my side, she drifts off around 7 p.m. If not, I’ll be on repeat, running back and forth to ensure the socks are just right, the favorite toy is present, and the light isn’t too bright. I pour myself another glass of wine and sit down to catch my breath.
Then, just as I think I can relax, my partner strolls in, setting the dogs barking and waking the kids up. “How was your day?”
This article was originally published on May 23, 2016. If you want more relatable content, be sure to check out one of our other blog posts.
Summary
The “witching hour” is that chaotic time between 5 and 7 p.m. when parents face the ultimate test of patience. Between dinner mishaps, bathing battles, and bedtime struggles, the evening can feel overwhelming. However, with humor and a little wine, it’s all part of the adventure of parenting.