It’s a widely recognized phenomenon that mothers often experience selective memory—commonly referred to as “mom brain.” This curious condition allows us to conveniently forget the trials of childbirth, the endless sleepless nights, and the chaos of early parenting. Without this mechanism, it’s hard to imagine anyone choosing to have more than one child.
Thankfully, nature has equipped us with a way to soften these memories, enabling us to focus on the joyful aspects of parenthood instead of succumbing to despair. For instance, I’m immensely grateful that most of the embarrassment from the times I had public accidents has faded into the background.
My partner, Jason, and I both appreciate that the memories of my fleeting fantasies about smothering him with a pillow during those sleepless nights with a crying infant have also largely vanished. As for the emotional rollercoaster that comes with raising teenagers? I can only hope those memories will be kind to me.
The human mind can only bear so much, so we must be strategic about which memories we cherish and which we let slip away. Here are eight moments I hope to hold onto as my memory continues to evolve:
- The Quirky Words of My Children
When my daughter, Lily, was just a toddler, she came up with the most delightful names for animals. To her, elephants were “trunkles” and ducks became “quackers.” The unintentional hilarity of her early speech made every day an adventure. - The Peaceful Sight of Sleeping Children
There’s something undeniably magical about watching a child sleep. Whether it’s their cherubic faces scrunched up in slumber or the serene silence when they’re finally at rest, these moments feel like a warm hug for the soul. - The Challenges of Being Home Alone with a Baby
Being trapped at home all day with a wailing infant can feel isolating and overwhelming. However, this experience also serves as a reminder of why I make it a point to reach out to new mothers, despite my own aversion to phone calls. - The Anxiety of Public Tantrums
Experiencing the chaos of a public meltdown can be sweat-inducing, but it also fosters empathy for other parents going through similar struggles. - My Partner’s First Embrace with Our Children
Despite the chaos of childbirth, I will never forget the pure joy on Jason’s face when he first held our children. Those moments are etched into my mind and heart, though I wouldn’t mind erasing the doctor’s remark about the amount of blood involved! - The Celebration After Bedtime
There’s an unparalleled sense of victory when the kids are finally in bed and silence envelops the house. In those moments, I feel like a parenting champion, if only for a fleeting second. - The Missteps in Parenting
I’ve had my fair share of accidents—like the time I accidentally locked myself out of the house with my 5-month-old inside. These “fails” remind me that nobody is perfect and that we all make mistakes along the way. They keep me grounded and prevent me from becoming a self-righteous parent. - The Little Victories
Amidst the noise and chaos, it’s easy to overlook our small victories. Whether it’s successfully navigating a 30-minute conversation about Minecraft or teaching a child to tie their shoelaces without losing my cool, these achievements deserve recognition. They are often the only thing standing between me and the temptation of day drinking.
Memories may fade, and sometimes that’s a relief—who wouldn’t want to forget the infamous “Poopgate 2014”? Yet, I secretly hope some memories linger on, as they may one day provide a humorous anecdote. After all, laughter is a powerful antidote to the stresses of parenting.
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Summary
In this article, Dr. Emily Harper reflects on the selective memories of motherhood, sharing eight key moments she hopes to remember. From the whimsical language of her children to the challenges and victories of parenting, these memories shape her journey. While some experiences may fade, the laughter and lessons learned remain vital to navigating the chaos of family life.