Updated: August 21, 2015
Originally Published: March 8, 2011
We’ve all been there: the moment when you’re out with your kids, and suddenly, the bathroom emergency strikes. Whether it’s a restaurant, a store, or a crowded theme park, the call of nature seems to hit right after you arrive. It’s like a game of tag, and the bathroom becomes the most exciting destination for your little ones. You might have just left the house 15 minutes ago, but now, they’re both insisting they need to go—immediately!
Public restrooms can feel like an adventure for kids, but for parents, especially moms, it can be a real challenge. If you’re like me, you probably find yourself wishing for a magic wand to make this process easier. But since that’s not an option, here are 30 straightforward steps to help you manage a trip to a public bathroom with your kids.
- Remind your kids to walk, not run. “No racing in the restaurant, please!”
- Arrive at the bathroom only to discover every stall is occupied.
- Wait impatiently for the ‘big’ stall, where someone seems to be taking forever.
- Calm your kids’ growing impatience. “I know, it’s frustrating! Just a few more minutes, I’m sure they’re hurrying.”
- Finally get a stall and mediate a debate over who gets to go first.
- Start to put the seat cover on while urgently reminding everyone, “Hands to yourself!”
- Go back to the seat cover, only to catch your child as the cover falls in.
- Settle for toilet paper on the seat instead and hoist child number one onto the potty.
- Yell at the other child: “Keep your hands away from there!” Why are they so fascinated by the feminine disposal bin?
- Assist with wiping or get toilet paper for child number one.
- Stop child number two from unraveling the entire roll of toilet paper.
- Get child number one dressed and begin the process all over again.
- Lift child number two onto the potty.
- Try to maintain composure when she says, “No pee pees! I’ll try later.”
- Grit your teeth and remind child number one to lock the door and keep it shut.
- Gently encourage child number two to give it another go.
- Watch as child number two genuinely tries, complete with grunts, but produces no results.
- Dress child number two.
- Since you’re here, you might as well take the opportunity to go yourself.
- Shout at child number one when she opens the door while you’re trying to pee.
- Get yourself dressed and usher the kids to the sink – unless you’re in a bathroom with a sink already.
- Lift the kids up for soap since they still can’t reach it.
- Wash their hands, then direct them towards the paper towels or dryer.
- Clean up the soap puddles on the floor.
- Pick up the paper towels strewn everywhere.
- Marvel as they stick their faces up to the dryer for a “crazy hair” effect.
- Gather up the unraveled toilet paper that serves no purpose.
- Use a paper towel to open the door, relishing your brief germ-free moment.
- Start the trek back to your original location, only to hear child number two whine, “I need to pee pee – for real this time, please!”
- Turn around and go through the entire process again.
These are the real-life challenges of motherhood that you don’t find in parenting books. Public potty breaks can be one of the most exasperating experiences, especially when you’ve got freshly potty-trained toddlers. While I love the baby and toddler stages, I often look forward to the day when we can ditch the car seats, and they can manage their own bathroom needs!
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In summary, while these bathroom trips can be a source of frustration, they are also part of the incredible, chaotic journey of parenthood that makes for great stories later on.
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