Looking back, I believe it all began the moment she entered the world. As her tiny frame was placed on my chest, I gazed down at her little wrinkled face and thought, “Who is this?” I didn’t recognize her at all.
Where was the strawberry-blonde fuzz I had envisioned? Where were the soft pink hues in her complexion? If I’m a spitting image of my mother, I figured my daughter would naturally reflect my features. But that wasn’t the case.
It quickly became evident that, despite how much a newborn might resemble a parent, she didn’t share my likeness. She’s not what I imagined.
That’s alright, I reassured myself. She resembles her father, which brings me joy. I told myself she could still be my little mini-me, even if our appearances differ.
However, it didn’t take long to realize that it wasn’t just her looks that contradicted my naïve expectations. For starters, she is—without a doubt—moody. Family members would often remark, “Oh my, look at that expression!” The expression we affectionately dubbed “The Stink Eye.” She would deliver it with the intensity of a seasoned actress. “She has quite the personality, doesn’t she?” strangers would say, their underlying message unmistakable: You’ve got your hands full with this one.
Over the years, the words I’ve used to describe my daughter have neatly been categorized into what experts call “strong-willed.” I’m raising a determined, headstrong toddler who embodies the attitude of a teenager, all packaged in a petite 29-pound frame.
She’s not what I envisioned.
Where is the sweet, compliant daughter I daydreamed about? I thought daughters were supposed to be nurturing and kind, miniature versions of their mothers. How naive I was.
That said, I won’t lie. There have been instances of embarrassment and disappointment regarding her temperament. There are moments when I return home after a short trip, eager to wrap her in my arms, only for her to push me away. Or when she wakes up from a solid night’s sleep, only to glare at me and demand solitude. There are times when she’s defiant or sassy without any clear reason. And when a friendly face greets her, only to be met with The Stink Eye, it stings.
She’s not what I envisioned.
I’ve come to understand that it’s less about behavior and more about inherent personality traits. A child can possess a less-than-cheerful disposition without being disobedient. Some might assume she’s undisciplined or that our parenting is lacking. In reality, we maintain a structured household where unacceptable behaviors are corrected with appropriate consequences.
But how do you discipline an inherent trait? Many of her characteristics don’t require correction; they call for understanding and acceptance of who she is.
There are fleeting moments when the sweet side of her emerges—when she curls up on my lap or gives her baby sister a gentle kiss on the head. Though these instances are rare, they are powerful. They fill my heart with warmth, and while I might wonder why she can’t be like that all the time, I try not to mold her into someone she’s not.
Ultimately, I’m learning that my rigid expectations were keeping me from fully appreciating my child—both her light and her shadows. Her unexpected traits contribute to her uniqueness. Yes, she challenges me daily and tests my patience constantly. Yet, she also prompts me to reflect on what it truly means to be a parent: unconditional love.
She’s not what I envisioned. But perhaps that’s intentional. She has taught me acceptance, perseverance, and gratitude. The reality is, I love that girl fiercely. She may not be the exact version my younger self imagined, but she is precisely who she’s meant to be—and she’s mine.
If you’re interested in more insights about parenting, check out this other blog post on Cervical Insemination for engaging stories. For those considering home insemination methods, Make a Mom offers reliable syringe kits. Additionally, you can find an excellent resource on intrauterine insemination that may provide helpful information for your journey.
In summary, my strong-willed daughter is not what I imagined, but she is precisely who she needed to be. Her unique personality challenges me and enriches my life in ways I never expected.
Leave a Reply