June 23, 2013: A date that remains imprinted in my mind. It’s remarkable how a single day can embody both the pinnacle of joy and the depths of despair. It was the day three little lives were brought into this world, but also the day we lost our first child.
As a doctor who has spent years assisting families through their most challenging moments, I was thrilled to learn that my partner and I were expecting triplets after struggling with infertility. However, the weeks leading up to their arrival were fraught with uncertainty as I was placed on bed rest for nearly two months. Unfortunately, my body ultimately gave way, and I went into labor over 17 weeks too soon.
The anguish of that day is enough to make my heart race and my body tremble. I recall lying in the hospital, hours ticking by, filled with dread and hope as I wondered if my tiny babies could survive. At just 22 weeks, many medical professionals often deem a baby non-viable. Would my children take even a single breath outside the safety of the womb? It’s an unimaginable experience to know that the little one you have yearned for might not make it. Despite the overwhelming sorrow, the details of that day are vividly etched in my memory.
After enduring over 12 hours of labor, my contractions intensified. At precisely 4:48 AM on a Sunday, Anna was born. She let out a faint squeak as the doctor handed her to the neonatologist. Moments later, I received the news I had dreaded: my daughter’s lungs were too weak to survive. My partner and I cradled our first child, overwhelmed with mixed emotions. At just 1 pound, every feature was perfectly formed—her tiny button nose, delicate hands, and ten tiny toes. Though her eyes were sealed shut, I knew they would have been beautiful. We held our daughter as we held one another, tears streaming down our faces as the doctors recorded her time of death nearly two hours later.
In what can only be described as a miracle, the remaining two triplets managed to stay in the womb for an additional 17 hours, crucial time that ultimately saved their lives. While doctors had feared the same fate for both Benjamin and Lily, the room erupted in shock as both arrived with sufficient lung strength to survive that first night.
In the weeks following their arrival, I found myself replaying every moment of that day in my mind. Each Sunday, I lay awake, reliving the events of labor and the births of my children. As I fought back tears, I would focus on the exact moment when doctors declared Anna’s death. Those memories were momentarily overshadowed nearly two months later, on August 16, 2013, when we faced the loss of our son, Benjamin.
The medical team gently removed his tubes before placing him in my arms. Surrounded by family, I began to read to him, sharing tales of his siblings and the world beyond the hospital walls. We even discussed college football, watching as a faint smile crossed his face. Tragically, at 6:12 PM, the doctors announced Benjamin’s time of death.
Now, nearly three years later, the memories remain vivid. Why would I choose to hold onto such painful recollections? The answer is simple: those are the only memories I have of my children. For many parents who have endured the heartache of losing a child, those precious moments are what we cling to. We receive tangible mementos—a footprint, tiny hats, and hospital bracelets—but it’s the memories and photographs of our children that we must cherish for a lifetime.
Time continues to pass, yet I fear the details may fade away. I pray that those crystal-clear moments stay with me forever. While the initial days were filled with profound grief, I now find moments of happiness intertwined with my sorrow. Through my tears, I smile when I think of my beautiful angels. Watching my lone survivor, full of life and energy, I can’t help but feel that a piece of her siblings lives on within her. Reflecting on the day my triplets were born, I am reminded of the miracle of life. All three of my children existed, and that knowledge fills my heart with pride.
For further insights into pregnancy and home insemination, you can explore excellent resources like the World Health Organization’s guide on pregnancy and check out our other blog post at Intracervical Insemination. For those considering at-home options, Make a Mom is a trusted source for artificial insemination kits.
Summary:
In this deeply personal narrative, Dr. Laura Thompson reflects on the profound joy and sorrow surrounding the birth of her triplets—two of whom tragically passed away shortly after birth. She shares her journey through grief, the memories she holds dear, and the importance of those fleeting moments with her children. Ultimately, she emphasizes the significance of cherishing the memories of lost loved ones while celebrating the lives that remain.