I never truly recognized my short temper until I embraced motherhood. Sure, I’d had my share of disagreements and even some heated moments in my life, but nothing prepared me for the surge of frustration that bubbled to the surface once I became a parent.
It never fails to surprise me how swiftly I can escalate from calm to furious over minor annoyances. When I’m exhausted, even the tiniest issues feel monumental. I don’t want to snap at my child for drenching the bathroom mirror with toothpaste for the umpteenth time after countless reminders. I aspire to embody patience and understanding. But after a long day filled with chaos, a toddler clinging to my leg, and a mess just cleaned up in the next room, my patience runs dangerously low. Did Gandhi ever have to deal with potty training? I doubt it, which might explain his serene demeanor.
When I find my son washing his hands with a banana or catch my daughter stripping down for the third time today, or if someone tracks oatmeal across my freshly cleaned floor, I can feel my temper flare. And when it’s too late for coffee but too early for wine, that’s when I really lose it.
I acknowledge my struggles, but it’s not pretty. Understanding that my fuse is short compels me to extend grace to those around me, including myself. Over time, I’ve cultivated strategies to help me keep my composure when I feel like I’m about to explode.
Self-Awareness
Being in tune with my emotions is crucial, especially when my patience is wearing thin. I continually ask myself: Have I eaten? Do I need a pain reliever or a caffeine boost? Taking a moment to sit down and recharge can make a world of difference. If I am fatigued, hungry, or stressed, it’s important to remember that these feelings are not my children’s fault, and it’s my responsibility to address my own needs.
Seeing My Children as Individuals
Recognizing that my kids have their own thoughts and feelings is essential. It might seem trivial when my 4-year-old throws a fit because I opened his dresser drawer, but to him, it’s significant. I have to remind myself that he’s not acting out to be difficult; he’s expressing his own perspective. My role is to guide him in navigating these situations, and screaming, “Why can’t I just open the drawer for you?!” won’t help him learn. It’s a challenging reminder, especially in the heat of the moment.
Medication
At this stage in my life, I’ve come to realize that medication is part of my parenting toolkit. And that’s perfectly acceptable because parenting is tough, and sometimes it’s better to be stable than constantly on edge. Just ask my family.
Taking Breaks is Essential
I sometimes grapple with guilt over not being the type of mom who cherishes every moment with her children. But I know my limits and make it a priority to take breaks when I need them. Ignoring these needs only brings my temper back with a vengeance.
Forgiving Myself and My Children
This is what prevents me from spiraling into despair. When I mess up, I apologize and use my blunders as opportunities for growth. I may not be perfect, but I strive to be a good mother, imperfections and all.
Being a good parent with a short fuse isn’t impossible. It’s all about managing those emotional moments before they spiral out of control. How many hours until bedtime, right?
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