Parks, playgrounds, zoos, museums, and various classes or camps—these are just a few of the countless activities available to get your children out and socializing. However, I have a confession: I’m not particularly fond of any of these options. In fact, that might be an understatement.
I genuinely make an effort, but as a dedicated homebody, these activities often turn into sources of anxiety and stress for me. Occasionally, I’ll take my kids out for a public event—by “fun,” I mean they enjoy it while I struggle to appear engaged, counting the minutes until it’s over. Generally, these outings are reserved for weekends when both my partner and I can join in, or as special treats for achievements like a stellar report card.
Like many parenting choices, this one comes with a significant dose of mom guilt. Recently, while enduring a particularly lengthy story hour at the library, I struck up a conversation with another parent. “Isn’t this place fantastic?” she exclaimed, her excitement reminiscent of my own when I encounter clearance sales. “Wednesdays are a blast for Liam and me. We start at the playground, let him expend some energy, then it’s toddler music class, followed by lunch at that burger joint with the awesome ball pit. After that, we visit the petting zoo for ‘Wild and Wacky Wednesday’—half-price admission!”
“That sounds amazing!” I said, while internally cringing, thinking, “That sounds torturous!” I added with a hint of honesty, “Liam is a lucky boy.” And he truly is, which is why I often feel a pang of inadequacy when I meet parents like Liam’s mom. My inner voice chastises me: Why can’t you be that enthusiastic and involved?
But I must give myself some grace. I have four children, while Liam’s mom only has him. Coordinating activities for multiple kids is never simple; they each have their own interests and desires. This complicates time management—I simply can’t find enough hours in the day to juggle various activities, prepare meals, assist with homework, and ensure our home doesn’t become a health hazard. Plus, the financial aspect is daunting; covering admission fees for four kids could require taking out a second mortgage, which I’m already considering just to manage our ever-increasing grocery bill—organic bananas or not.
While my children may not have a mom who delights in taking them out for every community event, they do have a mother who teaches them how to make pancakes, indulges their creativity with glue and soap to create “goop,” and joins them on nature walks, crouching down to examine an anthill together. The experiences we create at home and the memories we build are equally valid, if not more meaningful—just different. When we do venture to a museum or play miniature golf, it becomes a special occasion, not just another midweek activity.
People have diverse interests: some love fishing, others knitting, and some prefer going commando. Just as there are various personalities in the world, there are different types of parents—those who thrive on social outings and those who prefer to stay home. And that’s perfectly fine. Regardless of our choices, that nagging guilt will always be there.
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Summary
The article explores the feelings of inadequacy that some parents experience, particularly those who prefer staying home over engaging in community activities. It highlights the importance of creating meaningful experiences at home, emphasizing that different parenting styles can still lead to a fulfilling family life. Ultimately, whether you prefer social outings or quiet family time, it’s essential to embrace your own parenting journey without guilt.