In a beautifully nostalgic ’80s setting, we find the charming couple, Lily and Mark, sharing a tender moment on their bedroom floor. Suddenly, their adorable baby crawls by, interrupting their kiss. As I settled in to watch Season One of thirtysomething during my laundry breaks, I couldn’t help but share this scene with my partner. “This is what I thought marriage would be like,” I chuckled, reminiscing over the iconic theme music. We both laughed, recalling a time when we too might have found ourselves in a similar situation, albeit long ago. Of course, the show also foreshadowed some less glamorous realities: struggling through lunch with a friend while your infant screams or facing the chaos of toys scattered everywhere when your partner comes home to find no dinner prepared.
The series debuted during my senior year of high school and unfolded throughout my early college years. I didn’t catch every episode live, but my mother, an enthusiastic fan, would fill me in on the details, and I later binged on reruns during summer breaks. I identified with nearly every character, particularly Lily and Melissa, envisioning a life that mirrored their transition from vibrant city life to the challenges of suburban motherhood.
Lily and Mark’s journey encapsulated a new kind of marriage emerging in the ’80s. I was captivated by their negotiation of shared responsibilities, both at home and in raising their children. I took mental notes—just as I do while indulging in my favorite spy shows—wondering how they kept the romance alive, a concept that seemed foreign then.
At 18, I felt a strong kinship with Melissa, the lovable yet neurotic character. I feared that I might mirror her experience of being tied to a commitment-phobic partner, much like her on-again, off-again relationship with Gary. One of the most heartbreaking scenes I remember was Ellyn’s wedding when Gary’s ghost hints at Melissa’s future, which I now realize echoed my own desires for happiness and family.
Back then, I didn’t pay much attention to Nancy and Elliot; their struggles seemed mundane. Now, their story resonates deeply, often leaving me in tears. My creative aspirations have not fully materialized, much like Nancy’s journey. After marrying young and having two children, I can relate to her feelings of losing touch with her identity. Nancy’s path of rediscovery, resulting in her publishing a picture book, inspires me to reconnect with my passions.
Their reunion, signaled through a simple yet profound moment, reminds me that love can endure through trials. As they dance to Stevie Nicks’s “I Still Miss Someone,” I can’t help but wish for those moments of intimacy in my own life. Unfortunately, my children aren’t around to witness those sweet encounters anymore; they’ve grown up and flown the nest.
Nancy’s cancer diagnosis, however, brings a harsh reminder of life’s fragility, something I couldn’t fully grasp in my youth. While I’ve been fortunate to avoid personal loss, my experiences have painted a clearer picture of mortality. The emotional weight of the series hits differently now that I find myself in my forties, where tragedies—both real and fictional—seem to multiply.
What was once a crystal ball into adulthood now feels like a rear-view mirror, reflecting the ups and downs of life, love, and marriage. As I navigate this new season, I’m learning to embrace the moments that matter, like dancing in the living room or stealing kisses on the floor. After all, life is too short, and if we’re smart, we’ll cherish every fleeting second.
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In summary, revisiting thirtysomething as a fortysomething has illuminated the complexity of relationships and the importance of cherishing every moment.
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