In our cozy living room hangs a large wedding portrait, perfectly positioned above the love seat where my husband, Ben, often dozes off from 9 to 10 p.m. There are moments when one or both of us find ourselves gazing at that image of our younger selves. Wow, 15 years really changes your perspective! It’s amusing to think how we looked like kids back then. I can vividly recall picking our wedding date just days before I turned 26, feeling like that was practically ancient to be getting hitched!
Over the years, I have accumulated a wealth of marital wisdom. Life is busier than ever, and we crave snippets of alone time, moments together, time with each of our children, and family bonding. Not to mention the endless hours spent working and driving. Yet, there’s a unique beauty in this chaos that I couldn’t have fathomed back in that smoky bar where we first met. Ben is my teammate, and together we hold each other accountable, share responsibilities, and occasionally support one another when the going gets tough. It’s truly us against the world—or at least, us against the kids!
Looking back at that wedding photo, I remember naively thinking that winning Ben was the end of the hard work. How silly that seems now! While tying the knot is relatively easy, maintaining a marriage is a whole different ball game. I probably owe my parents a call to admit they were right all along. But let’s be real; 15 years brings its own set of baggage—baggage that only Ben truly understands.
We’ve faced some low points that made us question if we’d make it another day. There were moments when I envisioned packing up the kids and heading for the hills because I just couldn’t see a way forward. Yet, I stayed, curious about what tomorrow would bring. And then there were the exhilarating highs when we felt we had cracked the code of marriage! Arguments? Not for us; we were all about open communication, exploration, and understanding. We had it all figured out!
Through the ups and downs, we’ve encountered defining experiences, from unexpected health issues to the emotional rollercoaster of infertility (which deserves a blog of its own), and financial fluctuations, not to mention the joys of raising kids and caring for pets. All these memories swirl in my mind as we approach year 16. Now, when I look at that picture, I want to tell my 25-year-old self that the wedding was merely the beginning of a journey that only Ben and I could comprehend.
Having someone who knows you inside out is irreplaceable. Whether it’s deciding how to parent, when to leave a gathering, or planning our weekend, I have Ben as my ally who understands my needs. And he knows I’ve got his back, even when I have to gently usher our friends out at 10 p.m. on New Year’s Eve because that’s when he’s “done” socializing. I feel like we finally get each other, and liking each other is the cherry on top!
Sometimes I think it’s kind of wild that people tie the knot so young. And by “young,” I mean in their 20s. Perhaps they rush to marry because they might not take the plunge later in life. No amount of education, travel, or reading could have prepared me for the wild ride of the past 15 years. Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but I’m genuinely curious about what the next 15 years will hold!
For those interested in family planning, check out this insightful resource on home insemination. You can also find more information on navigating the journey of artificial insemination at Make a Mom. And if you’re looking for guidance on what to expect during your first IUI, this article is an excellent resource here.