Are those endless Facebook notifications really worth your time? You get all excited, only to find it’s just another comment on a photo that doesn’t even look like you! Here’s a light-hearted take on 33 Facebook alerts that might actually be helpful for moms.
- Good morning! Your coffee levels are dangerously low. Time for another 1.5 cups!
- Don’t forget a sweater!
- It’s 10:00 a.m. Have you had breakfast yet? That toast crust your kid threw on the floor doesn’t count.
- Another political contender has entered the fray. Maybe it’s time to mute your brother’s feed?
- Tina Fey just made a hilarious post. Grab that coffee!
- A Democrat has chimed in. Should we mute your cousin’s feed too?
- Your FB moms’ group seems to be stuck on “The Drama of The Gifted Child.”
- Lots of #blessed posts today. Remember, everyone expresses themselves differently; not everyone is super articulate.
- Seriously, do some neck stretches! You’re starting to look like a shepherd’s crook.
- Mother’s Day was all about you, but remember, you have a mom too. Crazy, right?
- Heads up: your coworker is about to pin some blame on you.
- Alert: your kid is using a turkey baster to poke holes in the screen doors.
- Now’s the perfect time to think about buying real estate!
- Yes, palazzo pants can be flattering if you find the right fit.
- Here are three adorable Craftsman bungalows… just a tad out of your budget.
- That leftover concoction you brought for lunch is a bit suspect. Treat yourself to an expensive cookie—you deserve it!
- If you’ve got this much free time at work, maybe consider writing a novel.
- Is a Labradoodle really a dog?
- Your novel’s structure could use some work. We need to believe your character wouldn’t just dither forever. You’re not Chekhov, sweetie. #sorrynotsorry
- It’s 4:45 p.m. Here’s what’s in your freezer: that old squash soup you didn’t like the first round, plus a single scoop of mashed potatoes your husband couldn’t bear to toss.
- It’s now 4:52 p.m. If you leave now, you could snag a rotisserie chicken.
- 5:01 p.m. Too late for the store—guess it’s tuna fish sandwiches for dinner!
- Frame it as “picnic night!”
- You don’t have exact change for the babysitter. Swing by a store to pick up something small to break a bill.
- If you had stopped earlier, you could have grabbed that rotisserie chicken. Nobody wears pantyhose from an egg anymore!
- Feeling proud of yourself for putting down the phone during dinner and bath time? You’re not being conscientious—you’re just avoiding the headline “Toddler drives off while mom checks Facebook.”
- You really do have time to exercise or practice guitar; it’s still three hours until bedtime!
- [Hollow laugh]
- If you don’t put your phone down now, Facebook will invade your dreams all night long.
- Twitter’s trying hard to be cool, but it can’t compete with the good old FB. Okay, fine, check it out.
- That bird swooping at you when you launch the app is a bit nauseating, huh? Better head back to Facebook.
- Pinching your nose bridge can relieve that tension headache. Seriously, is this how you want to spend your life? Others are out there composing music or learning to orienteer.
- Oh, and by the way, today is your birthday!
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In summary, while Facebook notifications can often feel pointless, there are definitely some alerts that could provide a chuckle or a little nugget of wisdom for busy moms navigating their daily chaos!