Every morning, my partner, David, wakes up and gently rolls over to me, draping his long, slender arm across my body. He nestles his chin into the back of my shoulder, and his dry lips brush against my ear. With remnants of sleep still lingering in his voice, he begins to sing—a chant, really—though he may not be the most talented vocalist. The words are always the same: “You are the most beautiful wife in the world.” At that moment, every hair on my neck stands up, attentive to his melody.
In reality, I’m clad in cropped yoga pants featuring an unfortunate hole and a ribbed white tank top with no bra. My hair is a tangled mess, matted against the pillowcase, trying to conceal the drool that slipped down my chin during the night. It’s safe to say that I don’t fit the mold of the “most beautiful wife.”
If there were a contest titled “Who is the Most Beautiful Wife in the World?,” I would likely not even make the top 100. In fact, I might be disqualified based solely on the state of my leg hair. Yet, David genuinely perceives me as that stunning wife.
Me? I had four children before crossing paths with him. My body bears stretch marks in unexpected places—behind my knees and above my ribs. I possess a torso that feels disproportionately long and legs that are so short that my feet dangle when I sit at my desk. I wear a size ten in jeans and possess an arsenal of Spanx. When I do run (which is only if I need to escape or make it to the dollar day at the local thrift store), my body moves in a way that could only be described as chaotic. It’s a sight, to say the least. And he’s witnessed all of it—up close and personal.
Despite this, he still insists I’m the most beautiful wife in the world.
I had to explore a few logical explanations for this. First, after conducting several at-home eye tests with various apps on my phone, I can confirm he does not seem to have vision issues. So the idea that he simply doesn’t see me clearly is out of the question.
Second, I can also rule out that he’s never seen anyone else naked. He was married before me and has likely perused magazines that contain images of other women, purely for their “intriguing content,” of course.
So how is it possible that he views me as incredibly beautiful while I only see flaws?
I attribute that to societal influences.
Not you specifically, but perhaps the coworker next to you, your former teacher, or that salesperson at the lingerie store who once implied they didn’t carry my size.
They contribute to this narrative. Meanwhile, as you step into the shower wishing for a flatter stomach, your partner is likely admiring your form. If you were to turn around and suggest an intimate encounter, do you really think he would respond with, “Sure, but let’s dim the lights to avoid your stretch marks”? Doubtful.
Here’s the reality: while many wives believe they would appear more attractive if they lost weight or underwent cosmetic procedures, husbands often find their partners incredibly appealing just as they are. I’ve surveyed a few, and the consensus is clear.
So, who is telling you that your body isn’t perfect? Typically, it’s people who don’t matter—individuals you don’t know or that nagging voice in your head questioning your worth as a mother, employee, or even in the clothes you wear.
Conversely, who is affirming that your body is just right? It’s usually the person who shares your bed every night, the one who sees you without any barriers and would drop everything for a spontaneous moment of intimacy. It’s that morning voice whispering, “You are the most beautiful wife in the world,” as I squeeze my eyes shut, allowing him to help me embrace that belief.
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize that beauty is often a matter of perception. While we may be our harshest critics, our partners may see us as their ideal. It’s crucial to listen to the affirming voices in our lives and embrace our unique beauty.