Feminism can take on many forms, and for me, it’s all about recognizing that women are just as powerful and capable as men. Even today, in 2023, it’s astonishing how often this reality gets overlooked. Feminism isn’t about proclaiming women as superior to men or enforcing a specific lifestyle choice like rejecting makeup or opting out of motherhood; it’s about ensuring that everyone—regardless of gender—has the freedom to choose how they want to live their lives. This includes encouraging everyone to step outside the limitations of traditional gender roles if they wish to do so.
As a proud feminist, I’m thrilled to share my life with my husband, Mark, who stands firmly alongside me in this journey. We’ve always supported each other in whatever roles we’ve chosen within our marriage and as parents. While some aspects of our lives are quite traditional—like Mark being the primary earner and the go-to for transporting our kids—others are more unconventional. He frequently takes our children to their doctor’s appointments and has spent countless hours soothing our babies to sleep. Meanwhile, I manage our family’s finances and handle most of the cooking and cleaning.
Being a feminist dad isn’t about constantly boasting about gender equality or dissecting feminist theory; it’s about being present in our kids’ lives, sharing parenting responsibilities, and not imposing outdated expectations based on gender.
Here’s what it means to be a feminist dad:
- Feminist dads don’t view parenting as ‘babysitting.’
Whenever Mark takes the kids out, people often remark, “What a great dad!” No one ever praises me for taking the kids to the store, which is a task worthy of a medal! The truth is, dads are parents and engaging with their kids is simply part of the job. - Feminist dads know parenting is a round-the-clock commitment.
Everyone understands that parenting doesn’t clock out at bedtime, especially in those early years. If it works for your family to have mom handle nights, that’s fine, but dads are just as capable of helping out during those sleepless hours. - Feminist dads support their partners in choosing their roles.
Deciding who works outside the home or who cooks dinner should be based on personal preference, not gender stereotypes. While pregnancy and breastfeeding usually fall to the individual with a uterus, everything else should be a choice made together. - Feminist dads embrace their children’s individual expressions of gender.
If your son wants to wear a tutu or your daughter prefers a buzzcut, let them be! Feminist dads don’t confine their children to outdated gender norms. - Feminist dads share household chores equally.
I can’t stand laundry, but Mark doesn’t mind it. I enjoy tidying up, but I refuse to be the sole clean-up crew for the mess of toys that appears every evening! Sharing chores means each partner contributes in ways that work for them. - Feminist dads make decisions cooperatively.
Every decision we make, big or small, is a joint effort. This approach may seem basic, but it’s a significant shift from how many relationships operated just a few decades ago. - Feminist dads express affection openly.
Let’s applaud all the dads who allow their newborns to nap on their chests, who wear their babies, and who freely express love to their kids. Your emotional openness is invaluable.
I’m certain I’m not alone in appreciating a feminist husband. Mark isn’t perfect (who is?), but I’m grateful to navigate the chaotic journey of parenthood with him. As the father of two boys, I’m especially proud that he serves as a role model for them. I can’t predict whether they will become fathers someday, but if they do, I believe they’ll embody the essence of feminist dads too.
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Summary
Feminist dads are redefining traditional parenting roles by actively participating in their children’s lives and promoting gender equality within the family. Their approach emphasizes shared responsibilities, emotional openness, and support for their partners’ choices, paving the way for a new generation of fathers who value equality and choice.
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