Updated: September 21, 2017
Originally Published: April 10, 2015
In the realm of parenting, there’s no shortage of differing opinions and practices. From dietary choices to discipline techniques and educational methods, parents often find themselves in polarized camps, passionately defending their approaches. The topic of bedtime for children is no exception.
In my observation, parents generally fall into two distinct categories: 1.) those who strictly enforce an early bedtime and take control of the routine, and 2.) those who let their kids stay up late without a set bedtime. Guess which group I belong to? Yep, I’m the control enthusiast when it comes to my kids’ zzz’s.
Last Fourth of July, a friend invited my family to watch fireworks. Fireworks? Isn’t that supposed to happen after dark? That likely means they won’t start until around 9:30 p.m. at the earliest. By that time, my little ones are already two hours into their slumber! That’s right—our bedtime is 7:30 p.m. And thanks to Daylight Savings Time, my kids are tucked in before the sun goes down for half the year.
From the moment my daughters were born, I prioritized getting them on a reliable schedule, which included an early bedtime. Our family mantra is “early to bed, early to rise.” It’s a foolproof formula, especially considering my two-year-old who wakes me up each morning singing “If You’re Happy and You Know It” while cheerfully thumping her feet against the wall. Adorable? Absolutely. But oh-so-early! Until they’re old enough to turn on the morning cartoons themselves, I’m getting dragged out of bed too. So while I’ve always preferred early nights, having kids has solidified my early bedtime routine. Toddlers and infants don’t grasp the concept of sleeping in, after all.
They have no idea that there are still kids outside playing or that exciting TV shows haven’t even started yet. And as for the plethora of evening events we decline? Well, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. The world is a much better place when my kids are well-rested and cheerful. A full night’s sleep equals happy kids, and happy kids mean a happy mom. You see where I’m going with this? In my household, sleep = happiness. So right now, I’m perfectly okay with prioritizing well-rested children over a bustling social life.
I’m always intrigued—though never judgmental—about parents whose kids stay up much later than mine. “I can’t believe he stayed up to watch the ball drop!” I marveled to my best friend about her 4-year-old. “I love keeping them up for special occasions!” she beamed. And since she’s my BFF, I can playfully tease her with a wink, “You’re a little ‘cray-cray,’” and she’ll wink back. We understand that we have different perspectives on this matter.
Still, I sometimes forget that not all families operate like mine. There are toddlers who party until 9 p.m., 10 p.m., or even later—yikes! While that schedule works for them, it simply doesn’t work for us. I also remind myself that other parents likely react with surprise to my kids’ bedtime: “You mean they go to bed at 7:30!?” And that’s perfectly fine.
Perhaps kids like my friend’s actually sleep in later. Maybe even if they skimp on sleep one night, they’re still manageable the next day. That would never fly with my daughters.
Truth be told, I relish the early bedtime for my kids. The time between their bedtime and mine (however brief it may be) gives my husband and me a chance to connect, to share our days without a demanding toddler or a crying baby in the mix.
Will this schedule last forever? Definitely not. Even now, there are rare occasions when something special may push back bedtime. While early nights are the norm for our family now, I know my kids will eventually get to experience life beyond 7:30 p.m. Who knows, maybe they’ll even catch a glimpse of fireworks someday!
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In summary, while every family has its own rhythm, I firmly believe in the value of an early bedtime for my kids—and the happiness that comes from it.