Murphy’s Laws of Traveling with Children

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Traveling with children can often feel more like an endurance test than a relaxing getaway. As a parent, I’ve come to understand that managing expectations is key when embarking on family trips. While I anticipated monumental moments like childbirth, holidays, and birthday parties to be unforgettable, they frequently fell short of my expectations. Conversely, seemingly simple experiences—family bike rides, sneaking ice cream on a school night, and enjoying breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day—turned out to be overwhelmingly delightful.

To stave off disappointment, my advice is to set your expectations low—very low. After all, it’s widely accepted that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, especially when children are involved. Just when you think the situation couldn’t deteriorate further, it often does. A recent family vacation served as an unfortunate reminder of this principle when my youngest son endured a relentless episode of stomach flu, complete with projectile vomiting and an unexpected visit to the ER.

Here are some “laws” to consider when traveling with kids:

  1. Your child will inevitably fall ill on departure day, likely with a condition involving vomiting or requiring antibiotics—or perhaps a combination of both.
  2. Expect flight delays, lost luggage, and the rental car agency to be out of minivans.
  3. Your supposed family-friendly resort will likely be bustling with energetic kids and weary parents, leaving everyone feeling less than amicable.
  4. If you venture to a warm destination, prepare for unexpectedly chilly weather while your home experiences a heat wave.
  5. You will forget to pack your child’s cherished blanket or comfort item, leading to potential meltdowns.
  6. As soon as one child recovers, another will catch the bug, creating a cycle of illness that will last throughout the trip.
  7. Meals for children at hotel restaurants will surpass the cost of a date night at home; meanwhile, a couple of margaritas could rival your monthly mortgage.
  8. Be ready for several trips to Walmart or Target to procure forgotten essentials.
  9. Your children will rise at the crack of dawn every single day, leaving you exhausted.
  10. Upon returning home, you will face the challenge of waking them for school, mountains of laundry, an overwhelming credit card bill, countless unanswered emails, a full voicemail, and the very illness your children had—without any vacation days left.

Ultimately, this is why it’s referred to as traveling with kids, not a vacation.

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In summary, prepare for the unexpected when traveling with children. Setting low expectations and planning for potential mishaps can help reduce disappointment and make the experience more enjoyable.

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