I’ve come to a realization: I’m a selfish mom. No, really—I fully embrace it! Last night, for instance, I treated myself to the largest bowl of ice cream, completely ignoring my husband and kids. It was all about me.
This morning, while I lounged on the couch with my coffee and caught up on the latest news, my kids were busy packing their own lunches. Sure, I kept an eye on them from my comfy spot, but the actual sandwich-making was in the capable hands of my eight- and eleven-year-olds. I mean, who wouldn’t want to enjoy a little Matt Lauer time, right?
And later, I plan to hit the pavement for a long, invigorating run with a couple of friends while my husband and kids tackle the daily grind. Yes, there’s grocery shopping on the to-do list, but hey, the kids won’t starve just because I chose a jog over chores.
Just last week, I enjoyed two leisurely lunches with a friend, purely for the joy of catching up and indulging in some light-hearted gossip about our beautiful chaos of family life. Oh, and did I mention? I’ve devoured two books this month, often during the day while my kids were awake. One glorious Sunday afternoon, I even spent three uninterrupted hours outside, lounging on a chaise, sipping seltzer with lime, soaking up some sunshine while my laundry waited patiently in the dark corners of the laundry room.
Selfish? Maybe. But is that such a bad thing?
Every day, I hear fellow moms lamenting their lack of “me” time. The comments come with a resigned smile, as if it’s an unspoken rule that moms must sacrifice their own needs for their families. I’m here to say: that’s nonsense. Where is it written that mothers can’t carve out a moment for themselves? Why do we think we must endlessly give, without pausing to recharge?
Growing up, I loved exploring my mom’s closet, filled with beautiful shoes and dresses she wore for nights out, not for running errands. She set an example by allowing herself to enjoy life outside of being just “Mom.” She taught me that it’s essential to escape the daily grind now and then—whether it’s treating yourself to a fresh haircut or a coffee break.
I know that in the early years of motherhood, it can feel impossible to step away for a moment of self-care. But even small acts of indulgence can make a world of difference. Sometimes, kids can have the broken cookie. Sometimes, Mom can scroll through social media instead of pushing the toddler on the swing. Sometimes, it’s perfectly okay to say “no” when your little one wants help reenacting a scene for the umpteenth time.
Now, I’m not advocating for a complete retreat into the land of self-indulgence, like some reality stars. As mothers, we’re naturally inclined to nurture and support our children. But somewhere along the line, we seem to have forgotten to nurture ourselves.
Here’s the reality: if you don’t take care of your own well-being—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—you can’t effectively care for others. Period. If you’re constantly pouring from an empty cup, you won’t be your best self for your loved ones. Let’s be honest: would you rather handle a toddler meltdown after a relaxing pedicure or after a day of pure chaos?
Trust me, I understand those days when just surviving from sunrise to sunset feels like a marathon. But taking even a few minutes for yourself—like a quick shower—won’t cause the world to crumble. So go ahead; take that shower. The kids will be fine; they’ll be banging on the door to confirm they’re still alive while you enjoy a moment of peace.
Let me say it loud and clear: THE WORLD WILL NOT END IF YOU PUT YOURSELF FIRST ONCE IN A WHILE. Your kids won’t suffer if you indulge in some self-care, whether it’s a deep conditioning treatment or reading a book for 20 minutes. In fact, they might even learn to be a bit more independent when they realize you’re not immediately available to help them.
So today, make a stand for yourself. Treat yourself to that big bowl of ice cream. Order that extra-large latte. Take an extra mile on your run instead of rushing home. And if you’re curious about more insights on this journey, check out some of my other posts over at Home Insemination Kit.
You deserve it. And trust me, the kids will understand when you simply say, “I’m the mom, that’s why.”
Summary:
In this candid reflection, Jamie Thompson embraces the idea of being a “selfish mom” and highlights the importance of self-care in motherhood. She emphasizes that taking time for oneself is not only okay but necessary for being a better parent. By sharing her own experiences of enjoying ice cream, reading books, and taking breaks from the chaos, she encourages fellow mothers to prioritize their own needs to recharge and ultimately enhance their parenting skills.