My partner insists I have a caffeine issue. I try to defend myself by pointing at the nutritional label on my can of Coke Light. “Look at those zeros,” I say with a grin. “It’s practically water! In fact, it’s probably healthier than water. Science has made it better!”
She just shakes her head. Sarah only drinks water. Living with her is like cohabitating with a monk, and honestly, I can’t fathom how she manages — or how any parent can function without caffeine.
Whether it’s coffee, energy drinks, espresso, or soda, the truth is that most parents require a little boost to keep them going. Surviving on little sleep while juggling the demands of life year after year is no small feat.
My beverage of choice is Coke Light. It has a much closer taste to regular Coke than Diet Coke, and it feels cooler and fresher — a bit less like what my mother would drink.
Last year, I ventured to Costco to stock up on Coke Light, only to find the shelves bare. I panicked a bit and asked several employees if they had stopped carrying it. Eventually, I discovered they had relocated all the Coke Light to a central aisle because it was on sale. While this may seem like a trivial story not worthy of publication, any caffeine-loving parent will understand the sheer horror I felt at the thought of being unable to buy my favorite soda in bulk.
I’m not particularly proud of that freakout. But here’s the reality: I have three kids, and they have all been terrible sleepers. One won’t fall asleep, another won’t stay asleep, and the third is an early riser. These roles shift night by night, based on the stars’ alignment, but one thing is unwavering: the lack of consistent sleep. After a decade of unpredictability in my sleep schedule, I’ve come to rely heavily on caffeine to get me through the day.
Maybe I’m using my kids as a scapegoat. Perhaps I should emulate Sarah and stick to water. But that’s not gonna happen.
I was a caffeine drinker before becoming a parent too. Back then, I actually slept well and didn’t spend my weekends shuttling kids around to soccer practice, packing up cleats and balls. I only had to stress about rent and car payments, not the crushing reality that if I didn’t perform well at work, my family could wind up living on the streets.
Caffeine doesn’t solve these problems, but it certainly helps make them a bit more manageable. At the very least, it keeps my eyelids from drooping, allowing me to appear as a fully functioning adult.
In the end, this is the life of a caffeine-addicted parent. It involves being grumpy in the mornings until you get your fix and dragging through the day after a sleepless night, with your go-to caffeine source in one hand and a toddler in the other. It means hearing “Another one? Seriously?” multiple times a day. It brings judgment. It’s about standing firm when you stop for that late afternoon boost. It means buying in bulk to save money. And it requires justifying to your partner why all that caffeine expenditure is an investment in your sanity, not a waste. It means having your kids smart off about how much caffeine you consume daily, as if they aren’t the original source of the chaos.
Ironically, my mother was addicted to Diet Coke, and I used to make snarky remarks about it (you know, back when I was childless). She would look at me with fatigue in her eyes and give a half-smile that seemed to convey, “You did this to me.” Back then, I didn’t grasp the meaning behind it. I thought I was just teasing her.
But now that I’m a dad, I totally understand. I get why my mother relied so much on caffeine. And you know what? I owe her a few cases or so.
Parenting is tough, and something as simple as a diet soda isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. So if you know a parent who can’t make it through the day without caffeine, spare them your judgment. Understand they’re simply trying to navigate their way through the chaos, and maybe offer to grab them a drink. You might just win their eternal gratitude.
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Summary
Parenting is a challenging journey often fueled by caffeine, as many parents rely on their favorite drinks to get through the daily grind. While it may seem trivial, the need for that quick pick-me-up is a shared experience among exhausted moms and dads. Instead of judging, it’s better to offer support and understanding.