You’d think by now I’d be immune to the surprises the internet throws my way, but nope—every day is a new eye-opener. Just yesterday, my social media feed was buzzing with a New York Times piece titled “Hairstyles Are Arriving In Hospitals Along With Babies.” Naturally, I had to check it out. What I found was almost hard to believe: post-delivery hair blow-outs and makeup applications for… photos? Seriously?
Sure, I get that Kate Middleton got all dolled up before debuting her newborn to the world, but can we all agree that she probably had no choice? I can’t imagine she was thrilled about the whole process, especially right after bringing a tiny human into the world. Who in their right mind would want to sit through a hair and makeup session after just giving birth?
Let’s be real: if you’ve had a baby, you probably didn’t have a blow-out on your mind when you were done pushing. For me, here’s what was at the top of my post-delivery wishlist:
- A drink. And no, not the fun kind. After my C-section, I was parched and couldn’t sip anything for what felt like an eternity. I even had my husband sneak me some water on a washcloth. I ended up throwing up multiple times. Hair and makeup? Not even a blip on my radar.
- Food. When I finally got the green light to eat, I told the nurses to bring me whatever was quickest—no matter how questionable the menu item. I was starving after 22 hours of labor and a long recovery. Trust me, I wasn’t worried about which hair product would tame my locks.
- The removal of that pesky catheter. Honestly, this should have been my number one priority. The moment that thing came out was pure bliss. If anyone had suggested a blow-out at that moment, I would have laughed them out of the room.
- A shower. After the chaos of childbirth, stepping into that hospital shower felt like heaven, even if the water only sprayed to the left. I couldn’t have cared less about how I looked; I just wanted to wash away the evidence of my dramatic experience.
- Comfy clothes. And by comfy, I mean the delightful hospital gown and mesh undies. Those gowns are so cozy, I wore two of them at once! No fancy dresses here—just me, a plastic hospital bed, and some hospital food. I was in my happy place!
According to the article, John Barrett from Bergdorf Goodman believes looking “normal” after childbirth is important for your mental well-being. And while I’ve never run a marathon (because who does that voluntarily?), I must admit, feeling “normal” wasn’t my priority. I was more focused on figuring out how to ice my sore bits while holding my newborn and trying to eat a turkey sandwich. Those were the things that mattered.
Looking back at my post-delivery photos, I see a mom with swollen cheeks and a look that screams, “What just happened?” But you know what? I wouldn’t trade those moments for a perfectly styled blow-out. If someone had come at me with a hairbrush or makeup kit, I would have definitely used my left breast as a weapon.
For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, you can check out this excellent resource from the CDC. And if you’re curious about at-home insemination options, sites like Make A Mom provide great information on the Cryobaby kit.
In summary, after childbirth, hair and makeup should be the least of your worries. Focus on what truly matters: hydration, nourishment, comfort, and bonding with your new little one.