Parenting Journey
The $100 Allowance by Jenna Thompson
Updated: March 19, 2021
Originally Published: June 10, 2014
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One day, my 13-year-old daughter, Lily, came up with a bold proposition. “How about you give me $100, and I’ll cover all my expenses for the school year?” She had picked this idea from a cousin who was known for her frugality.
“What does ‘everything’ entail?” I inquired. My husband chimed in with, “Have her write a proposal.” Off she went, pen in hand, imagining the possibilities of a crisp $100 bill.
Initially, I resisted the idea. Parting with a lump sum felt daunting. But then it hit me—her proposal could actually save us money in the long run. Thirteen-year-olds crave freedom, and Lily was no exception. She was tired of me fussing over her coat, hair, and room. She wanted control over her bedtime, outfits, and lunch choices—good luck suggesting a new haircut!
This was a pivotal moment leading to high school, college, budgeting, and eventually, motherhood. A $100 allowance? Perhaps this could be a valuable step toward her independence.
Her written proposal was extensive, covering clothing, shoes, snacks, events, and gifts for friends. I hesitated, knowing full well that $100 wouldn’t cover everything. But she insisted it would work, and with a swift hand, I signed the agreement.
September Spending:
- $20 on school supplies, including an indulgent set of multi-colored pens
- A $5 shirt from American Eagle
- Two lip glosses for $7
- A pair of wedge shoes from Old Navy for $30
I wish I could say I kept my opinions to myself about the wedge shoes, but when I exclaimed, “$30!” she shot me a look, reminding me it was her money. I quickly apologized and vowed to stay out of it. But in less than half an hour, as she compared her shoes to her dwindling wallet, buyer’s remorse kicked in, and the shoes went back.
I kept reminding myself: stay silent. This was Lily’s journey, her lesson to navigate.
September was a blissful honeymoon phase, filled with her newfound wealth. She enjoyed the freedom of spending, buying candy bars, discounted jeans, and generously rewarding her siblings for small favors.
Then came October 1st: a stylish, fluffy blue coat for $40. And just like that, the dream was over.
By October 2nd, she was broke. On October 5th, she said, “I think it’s time to reassess my budget.” I smiled, knowing a lesson was unfolding. The agreement was clear-cut—no wiggle room.
That’s when she sprang into action. While I was dropping off her younger siblings, she would shout, “Can you ask if I can babysit?” She also asked if she could be paid for chores around the house. She even distributed flyers in the neighborhood promoting her babysitting services. With Christmas on the horizon and a dance coming up, she was busy calculating her finances. Planning became a priority.
She picked up spare change and practiced the piano regularly, as Grandma would pay her for each book finished. She began accepting less-than-ideal babysitting gigs instead of turning them down.
And guess who else learned a thing or two? Me. I’ve always enjoyed shopping for my kids, snagging deals here and there. But after the allowance was doled out, I found myself putting items back, knowing that swooping in would undermine the lesson. I did buy her a Chapstick one day, and she beamed, wrapping her arms around me in gratitude.
Though the adventure didn’t stop there, I witnessed Lily grow more responsible with her money over the course of a month. No more begging for clothes—she embraced independence willingly, and surprisingly, she showed much more appreciation for the things we bought her.
An unexpected twist? Her three younger siblings now want a $100 allowance too! Instead of panicking, I grinned—more spending money for me!
Tips for Implementing an Allowance:
- Clearly outline expectations: Determine who pays for what. It often works best for kids to cover all “extra” or “fun” expenses with their own funds.
- Assist your child in creating a list of wants versus needs and discuss what belongs on each list.
- Help them draft a personal budget and document the plan.
- Sign the agreement.
- Keep a simple ledger (or a spreadsheet) to track money in and out.
- Resist the urge to buy things for them or bail them out!
Lily hasn’t yet taken me up on my offer to pay for weeding the garden or shoveling out the chicken coop (that day might never come). But I’m keeping my mouth shut, knowing that when she truly needs cash, she’ll come asking for work.
My mom used to say she assigned us chores to boost our self-esteem, a connection I couldn’t understand at 14. Now, I see the empowerment in Lily’s expression when she works hard for something she desires. It’s a feeling akin to happiness.
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Summary:
In this journey of giving my daughter a $100 allowance, I witnessed her growth in money management, independence, and gratitude. While it was a challenging transition, it turned out to be a valuable experience for both of us, paving the way for future financial responsibility.