There’s something about the internet that brings out the wildest opinions, allowing people to act like they’re experts on every topic without doing their homework. One innocent comment on a mutual friend’s Facebook post can ignite a wave of shaming, and guess what? I’m not here for it.
I’m scheduled for a C-section with my upcoming baby, just like I did with my first, and let me tell you: I am still a fantastic mom. Some women choose C-sections for a variety of reasons, and while the rates are indeed on the higher side, it’s not our place to judge why someone opts for one. Everyone has their own story, and I’m here to share mine.
My First Experience
When I was expecting my first child, I presented a birth plan to my doctor at our 35-week appointment. The plan was all about minimal intervention: walking around the hospital, warm showers—the whole natural childbirth experience. My doctor was supportive, but then the ultrasound revealed my son, Charlie, was not just breech—he was “jackknifed,” with his little butt stuck by my left hip and his head near my right ribs. Let’s just say, he wasn’t coming out that way. I tried everything to encourage him to move. Picture this: lying on an ironing board with my head down and legs in the air, frozen peas strategically placed on my belly. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. Poor little guy was just stuck.
I’ll never forget the moment during that ultrasound when my doctor’s face shifted from calm to concerned. After what felt like an eternity, she gently said, “I don’t think you’re going to get the birth you hope for; we will need to do a C-section.” Zach and I exchanged relieved glances once we learned Charlie was okay, and our immediate response was simply, “Oh, is THAT all?”
The C-section itself? Think of the final scenes of Braveheart—two nurses literally climbing on the table, pushing and wiggling to get my very stuck baby out. But here’s the thing, internet: you don’t know that struggle. When Zach asked the doctor what would have happened to Charlie and me in the old pioneer days, she quietly replied, “They both would have died in labor.” All you see is “scheduled C-section,” and the assumptions fly.
My Second Pregnancy
Fast forward to my second pregnancy, where I went into labor with my son, Lucas, at just 29 weeks—exactly where I am now with this baby. I was in and out of the hospital, on bed rest, and on medication to stop contractions. When my water broke at 36 weeks, my whole team supported my decision to attempt a VBAC. Yet, I still faced comments like, “Don’t let your doctor push you into a C-section! You could totally do this the right way!”
But what you don’t see is that my doctors were incredibly supportive. Ultimately, when my baby showed signs of stress, my OB suggested a C-section, and I agreed without hesitation. I knew if I had another baby, it would be a planned trip to the OR, and I’m at peace with that. I’ve had two C-sections: one with a Swiss cut and another with a single incision. Why risk tearing or severe complications? I have two sweet boys who need their mommy, and I’m currently carrying a little girl who deserves to be born into a loving family. I doubt she cares how she arrives—just that she gets here safely.
Rejecting Shame
So, to the internet: I reject your shame. You can keep it. If it weren’t for a scheduled C-section, I might not even be here to parent my children. I was just moments away from delivering when they checked me in with Charlie, as my contractions were just two minutes apart.
We can never truly know someone’s reasons for choosing a C-section, and honestly, it’s none of our business. The only thing that matters is that mom and baby are happy and healthy at the end of the day. So let’s celebrate that, shall we?
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In summary, let’s drop the judgment and come together to support all mothers, regardless of how they choose to bring their children into the world.