15 Ways I Embrace Mediocre Motherhood

Get Pregnant Fast

By: Jamie Thompson

1. The crumbs tucked in the highchair’s crevices? I like to call those “appetizers.”
2. The crusty French fries lurking in the car seat are simply baby toys. You’ve heard of the “don’t text and drive” campaign, right? Well, this is part of the “don’t search your purse for baby snacks while driving” movement—safety first!
3. That pair of underwear tucked into my son’s pant leg was a brilliant strategy in case of an accident at school.
4. Old milk bottles hidden under the couch? A fun experiment! We’re attempting to create our own butter and cheeses, and I hear a cool, dark place is essential for this culinary adventure.
5. The kids aren’t “fighting”; they’re just testing the boundaries of brotherhood in a highly physical manner.
6. I don’t lock the bathroom door to escape from my kids—oh, heavens no! I lock it so I can hear their little fists pounding on the door, ensuring I know they’re safe and sound.
7. Hairpins, thumbtacks, and batteries found in the couch cushions? Obviously, this is the last place the kids would think to look. Keeping those items out of reach is overrated—my kids tend to injure themselves trying to reach dangerous objects from high places.
8. Forget baby locks on cabinets; they’ve turned those into makeshift weapons!
9. Am I tired? Of course! We have a strict “only one person allowed to sleep at a time” policy around here, and my kids (and husband) always take priority.
10. I leave clean laundry piled on the floor for at least a day because I read somewhere that it allows the fabric to breathe. You know, like letting a fine wine aerate or letting meat rest after cooking.
11. Sure, I’ve let the baby eat off the floor. It’s a great immunity booster and does wonders for his skin and nails.
12. My son is rocking only one shoe in public because he’s engaged in an exciting game called “Lose One Shoe While Running Errands.” It’s a scavenger hunt of sorts, and it’s way more fun if you have a sense of humor.
13. That’s not soap scum on my shower door; it’s my decorative “faux frosted” glass masterpiece.
14. Mint-flavored, sugar-free candy is not bad for their teeth; it also soothes minor tummy troubles while freshening breath!
15. You might call it bribery, but I consider it positive reinforcement for good behavior.

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In summary, embracing the chaos of motherhood is all about finding humor in the mess. From questionable snacks to creative explanations, it’s the little things that make the journey enjoyable—because who said motherhood had to be perfect?