Nudity Around Kids: A Blessing or a Burden?
For me, it’s a blessing. For my partner, it’s a burden. We send vastly different messages to our children and, like with everything else in parenting, we just hope we don’t mess them up too much.
I was raised in a pretty open household where nudity wasn’t a big deal. I can vividly remember my dad’s big, hairy frame and his less-than-appealing rear end. I’d occasionally walk in on him while he was getting ready or stepping out of the shower. As a young girl, I thought, “Wow, that looks like an elephant’s trunk!” It was definitely an eye-opener, and I was quite relieved to have a vagina!
My mom would often say, “It’s just a body” or remind me to get dressed, especially as my brothers and I grew older. Being the only girl among two brothers, I became familiar with the male anatomy early on. I understood what a penis was, and while I found it interesting that boys could pee standing up, it didn’t faze me much.
Then there was my mom. I recall showering with her and marveling at her body, wondering if I would look like that one day. But when I hit my teenage years, things changed. I was mortified when she strolled around in a sheer negligee with no underwear. “None of us want to see you practically naked, especially not Josh and Ben!” I blurted out. Ironically, my brothers don’t even remember that moment. But I still do!
As a child, I viewed nudity as beautiful, yet as a teenager, it felt inappropriate. The question remains, how do you know when that shift occurs?
My partner, Alex, hails from a much more conservative family background, where nudity was a topic best left unspoken. Fast forward to the present, and we have two daughters, Mia, 6, and Lucy, 4.
I often walk around without clothes in front of them. I mean, I’m not running around like an exhibitionist—at least not while they’re awake! But I don’t rush to cover up when they enter our room. Recently, while showering with Lucy, our conversation went something like this:
Lucy: “Will I have boooobs?” (pointing at mine and giggling)
Me: “They’re called breasts, and yes, you will!”
Lucy: “Eww, I don’t want them. What are those round pokey things called again?”
Me: “Nipples.”
Lucy: “Oh yeah, that’s where milk comes from to feed babies.”
Me: “Exactly, isn’t that amazing?”
Lucy: “Your tummy is big.”
Me: (defensive mode activated) “Things look bigger from down there!”
When Lucy noted my stomach, I wanted to joke but also didn’t want to undermine her feelings. If I said, “No, it’s not,” I’d be dismissing her thoughts, but if I admitted, “Yes, I should exercise more,” I’d be implying that a bigger tummy is bad. Not a great message for her self-esteem.
Alex, on the other hand, locks the bathroom door when he showers. He values his privacy and fears that seeing him naked will “scar the girls for life.” I don’t think they’ve ever seen him without a towel. I don’t want them to see his penis every day, but I also don’t want them to think it’s something taboo. When I explain, “Daddy needs privacy,” they just giggle and shout, “He’s nakey!”
Growing up in a household that embraced nudity and humor, I wasn’t curious about boys like my friends who didn’t have brothers or openly naked fathers. My friends would come over and be fascinated by my brothers, observing them as if they were extraterrestrial creatures.
I wonder if being overly cautious about nudity might lead to greater curiosity about it. Would my daughters become more interested in the male anatomy because it’s shrouded in mystery?
It would be great to have a manual on the appropriate level of nudity to raise kids who are comfortable in their own skin, but parenting is all about trial and error. Here’s hoping we get this one right!
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Summary:
Navigating the topic of nudity in front of children can be a challenging balancing act for parents. With differing backgrounds and beliefs about body openness, one parent embraces natural nudity while the other prioritizes privacy. This article explores the complexities and humorous moments that arise when raising daughters in a household with opposite views on nudity.