I admit it: I’m quick to judge everyone I encounter. Whether at a party or through social media interactions, I’ve undoubtedly assessed your behavior. I even judge strangers—at the grocery store, in Target, or while stuck in traffic. It’s a daily habit for me.
Some might label me as overly critical, but that’s not the case. My judgments aren’t directed at individuals for their daily choices. Instead, I critique the individuals who contribute to a harsh and unkind society by unfairly judging those simply trying to navigate life. If it’s a parent struggling with a challenging child, a same-sex couple desiring to marry, or someone expressing their political views, I’ll judge the person doing the judging just as harshly.
I recognize the irony in this. The rise of the internet and social media has transformed judgment from a discreet act to a public spectacle. We can now hide behind our screens, freely criticizing others without facing the consequences. This anonymity, coupled with the instant gratification of a tweet or text, has fueled a culture quick to condemn others without knowing their full story.
Take, for instance, the mother who experienced the horror of her child being dragged by a gorilla at the zoo. Just moments after the tragedy, internet trolls emerged, ready to vilify a parent enduring an unimaginable day. Or consider the family who lost their son to an alligator during a vacation. You’d think they were monsters based on the vitriol directed at them in the comments sections of articles covering their heartbreak.
When did it become acceptable to respond to someone else’s pain with cruelty? I judge because I care. I empathize with those parents who faced terrible circumstances. Each day, I worry about making a parenting mistake that could become a viral fiasco. Every time I back out of a parking spot, I hold my breath, hoping I don’t overlook a child behind me. When dining out with my kids, I fear freezing in a moment of panic if a choking incident occurs. These parents didn’t wake up intending to harm their children; they simply wanted to enjoy time together.
While I wish healing for those affected by tragedy, I also feel sorry for the haters who hide behind their screens, perpetuating negativity. They need compassion, but they also deserve to be called out for their behavior.
Yes, I judge people based on how they treat others. Character is often revealed through one’s manners, grace, and humility during tough times. I understand that we all have challenging days when we may not present our best selves. However, if you consistently spread hate towards people you don’t know or negatively judge their life choices, you can bet I’m judging you too.
Parenting, and life in general, is challenging. Everyone faces their own battles daily, but no amount of personal struggle justifies being cruel online. We are our harshest critics, and being a Judgy McJudgerson only reflects poorly on ourselves. So, I urge you to pause and consider the impact of your words before hitting send. Imagine yourself in someone else’s situation before joining the mob mentality. Or better yet, step away from the screen and engage in face-to-face conversations instead. Save your judgment for those truly deserving, like the orange Oompa Loompa running for president, and let well-meaning parents be.
That old saying, “Judge not, lest ye be judged,” might need a refresh: “Just be kind and don’t be a jerk.” I believe the world would be a much kinder place for it.
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Summary
In a world where judgment seems easy, it’s essential to remember compassion. Judging others, especially during their most vulnerable moments, is harmful. Instead, we should strive to be kind, understanding that everyone faces their own challenges.