6 Pieces of Advice New Moms Would Rather Avoid

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When you become a mom, it seems everyone has a piece of advice to share. While some of it is genuinely helpful—especially when accompanied by a comforting bottle of wine or a thoughtful gift card—others can be downright frustrating. Here are six pieces of advice that new mothers often find unhelpful.

1. “Cherish every moment.” This sentiment can feel more like a burden than a blessing. The reality is, when you’re navigating sleepless nights, diaper blowouts, and the stress of caring for a newborn, the idea of cherishing every fleeting moment can feel unattainable. Sure, you love your baby fiercely, but the exhaustion can overshadow those magical moments. It’s not until later that you realize the people offering this advice may have forgotten the chaos of early motherhood themselves.
2. “Make time for yourself.” This advice is often met with confusion and frustration. When you’re tethered to a tiny human around the clock, the concept of “me time” feels like a distant memory. Unless the person giving this advice is on their way to babysit, it’s easier said than done. The reality is, finding time for yourself while tending to a newborn can be nearly impossible.
3. “Don’t feel guilty…” Guilt is an unwelcome companion for many new moms. While the intention behind this advice is good, it often falls flat. A more supportive message would acknowledge that it’s normal to feel torn and that finding balance takes time. Feeling guilty about feeling guilty only adds to the weight of motherhood; it’s okay to struggle as you adapt to your new role.
4. “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” This is perhaps one of the most misleading pieces of advice out there. Newborns nap in short bursts, and when they do, you’re likely still preoccupied with other tasks—or trying to eat that long-forgotten sandwich. Unless you have a superpower that allows you to fall asleep instantly, this advice often just leads to frustration.
5. “If you’re calm, your baby will be calm.” While it’s true that babies can pick up on their parents’ energy, the idea that your calmness guarantees a peaceful baby is misleading. Some infants are simply more high-strung than others, and no amount of deep breathing can change that. If this were accurate, we’d all be stress-free while soothing our little ones.
6. “Just trust your instincts.” While instincts can play a role in parenting, the notion that you should have all the answers from day one can be overwhelming. Instead, a more empathetic approach would be to say, “I’ve been in your shoes; it can be intimidating, but I’m here if you have questions.” This kind of support fosters a sense of community that new moms truly need.

For the sake of new mothers everywhere, let’s strive to offer support and understanding rather than outdated advice. If you’re looking for more relatable insights, check out our post here. Additionally, if you’re considering at-home insemination, you can find reputable products at Cryobaby, and for a deeper dive into pregnancy resources, explore the Genetics and IVF Institute.

In summary, new moms often encounter well-meaning but unhelpful advice. Instead of offering platitudes, let’s provide genuine support and understanding, as every mother’s journey is uniquely challenging.