The last time I shared my birthday with one of my kids, my daughter was just 3 years old. That was a whole seven years ago. I remember eagerly anticipating our special day together. I planned to whip up pancakes for breakfast, take her to her gymnastics class, and then treat us both to lunch at her favorite bagel shop—because what could possibly go wrong with a 3-year-old in tow?
As it turns out, quite a bit.
Her excitement for my birthday, with all the cake, presents, and singing, seemed to overwhelm her little mind. My usually calm and composed child transformed into a whirlwind of chaos from the moment her eyes popped open until nap time—a torturous seven hours later. There were screams during breakfast, arguments on the way to gymnastics, and a heart-wrenching meltdown when her favorite bagel (with chips) was served. It was as if she couldn’t cope with the magnitude of the day—bless her little heart.
As we drove home, both defeated, I asked, “Why are you so worked up today?” Her tear-stained cheeks told the story as she replied, “I don’t know.” And just like that, we both found ourselves crying—because sometimes, that’s how it goes.
That marked the turning point for me. I made a promise to myself: from that day forward, I would spend my birthdays apart from the chaos of family life. I would send my kids off to do their own thing, freeing me up to relish the end of the day together over some angel food cake.
The majority of the year revolves around their needs—their activities, meals, nap times, and even their little schedules. Call it selfish, but when my birthday rolls around, I want to prioritize my happiness. I crave the simplicity of a jog, the indulgence of bacon, the luxury of a massage, leisurely lunches with friends, and the pure bliss of silence. I want a day dedicated entirely to me—dammit.
I adore my children. On most days, they take precedence in my thoughts and decisions. I dedicate my time to teaching, nurturing, and harnessing their wild energy into more constructive outlets. I create an environment filled with activities that ignite their joy, even if they don’t always resonate with me.
However, I love myself too. I’m a capable, functioning adult juggling life’s many demands. Without carving out time for self-reflection and peace, I can’t be the patient, understanding parent I aspire to be. So yes, I will claim my special day—perhaps even more than once a year. Maybe tomorrow.
We all deserve that day. So go ahead, take yours—I’m certainly taking mine.
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Summary
Celebrating birthdays alone can be a refreshing and necessary break from the demands of parenting. While family is paramount, prioritizing personal time allows for self-reflection and rejuvenation. Embrace your special day and seek out the joy in solitude.