Dear Little One,
I hate to break it to you, but your mom has officially lost her marbles. This summer, she has transformed into an over-caffeinated control freak, determined to pack every second of your break with activities that are more structured than a corporate retreat.
From educational summer camps to music and swim lessons, your days will be jam-packed from sunrise to sunset, all in the name of “growth” and “responsibility.” And if you think your age excuses you from this madness, think again. Get ready for summer fun, my friend.
Forget about building forts or having time for spontaneous adventures. Nope, you’ll be at robotics camp or taking viola lessons instead. Sure, you can barely recall your own home phone number, but your mom has high expectations. If you’re among the fortunate few, you might squeeze in an hour of “free play” (which feels a bit like scheduling your own freedom, right?).
Here’s the deal with this Helicopter Mom predicament: she simply can’t help herself. Every second of your life—from the moment you entered this world until you’re contributing to a 401(k)—is a quest to ensure you’re “ahead.” Why? Because she was raised by her own set of Helicopter Parents, and the cycle is hard to break.
We’d love to put a stop to the worst of them, but we also need someone to coordinate these activities. Just kidding (mostly). Truth is, we’re all a bit intimidated by the super-organized, Pinterest-perfect moms out there. We steer clear for fear of catching their obsessive planning bug.
In the meantime, here’s a handy summer printable for your mom. Trust me, you might want to bolt after handing it over.
5 Ways to Ruin Summer for Your Child
- Make Every Moment a Learning Experience.
If you’re that mom who shadows her child on the playground, narrating every action and interrupting their playtime with unsolicited lessons, I have a small request. Please, take a deep breath, grab a latte, and relax like the rest of us. Seriously. - Obsess Over Every Move.
Want to raise a perpetually anxious, co-dependent adult? Just fixate on every move they make. Ensure your kid is acutely aware of your meticulous planning and organization for their supposed path to success. Who cares what they actually enjoy? Building forts is for toddlers, and swimming for fun? That’s just ludicrous. - Constantly Plan for Their Future.
Your intentions are commendable—crafting a stellar resume for college (which might be a decade away). You’re filling their schedule with well-rounded activities, volunteering, and sports. But did you remember to let them be a kid? Stressed-out kids aren’t likely to thrive. Just look at the Millennials! We were straight-A students and still managed to complicate our lives in bizarre ways. Forget the quinoa—order a pizza and enjoy today. - Forget What “Fun” Actually Means.
Fun isn’t watching your mom hover with a camera or scrolling through social media for the perfect snapshot. It’s not about elaborate, expensive outings. Real fun is about genuine moments, true friendships, and spontaneous adventures. Get out of the house and let your kids meet real-life friends at the park or pool, where the memories will be made. - Count Down to the End of Summer.
Yes, we understand that working and having kids at home is no walk in the park. But you do remember having kids was your choice, right? Stop wishing for the end of summer and enjoy the time with those wild, messy little ones. Silence your phone and spend quality time with them.
Kid, your happiness should be your parents’ priority this summer. If you miss out on robotics because you were out building a fort in the woods, you’re developing essential life skills. Now, if only we could convince your parents of that. I’ll do my part, if you do yours—get out there and enjoy nature!
Sincerely,
Your Friendly Lazy Parent
For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
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