I bumped into a familiar face, Jenna, at the school drop-off the other day. As we hurried down the hallway, she chirped, “So, your book is coming out soon—are you thrilled!?”
“Absolutely!” I replied with the enthusiasm she expected. After all, what else could I say? It’s like when someone asks, “How are you?” and you respond with a simple “fine.” It’s just how it goes.
But, here’s the thing—I’m a notorious over-sharer, and I can be a bit of a hot mess.
“Thrilled? Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it that,” I started, dropping my bag with a thud. “Actually,” I sighed, “I’m totally freaking out.”
“What if the book flops? I poured my heart into it—what if no one connects with it? What if nobody wants to help promote it? What if critics tear it apart? What if my publisher is left disappointed with the sales? Or worse, what if I make a total fool of myself while promoting it? What if I freeze up during a reading?
I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself. “I know, I know. It’s amazing that I even finished a book, and I should just enjoy the journey. Who cares if it doesn’t take off? I’ll get through it, right? I know. But the enjoyment just isn’t there. I can’t quite grasp why.”
Leaning against the wall for support, I continued, “Sure, I’m excited on some level, but I’m also overwhelmed. This kind of pressure is foreign to me, and it’s not great for my nerves. It’s terrifying. I mean—”
“Oh! Wait a sec,” Jenna interrupted, fumbling with her silent phone. “I think I just heard it ring, and it must be urgent. Oh, look at that—very urgent! Good luck!”
She dashed off without a backward glance, probably to discuss an imaginary crisis with an equally imaginary friend. I haven’t seen her since, and I suspect she might have switched preschools to avoid future encounters with me. Can’t say I blame her!
The Takeaway
The takeaway here? Don’t ask me how I feel about the book unless you genuinely want to know. Trust me, you don’t.
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In summary, while the journey of writing my book is meant to be exciting, the pressure can be overwhelming, leading to a mix of emotions. Remember, asking about feelings can lead to unexpected depth—so tread carefully!