Embracing Authenticity: Supporting My Son’s Journey

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My 5-year-old son has frequently been mistaken for a girl, likely due to his long, beautiful hair and charming features. Once, during our bus ride to school, a woman commented, “Your daughter has such lovely hair.” I smiled and responded, “Thank you. He definitely does.” Her expression shifted from pleasant to uncomfortable, and she awkwardly moved away.

On another occasion, I noticed a boy pointing at my son and teasing him with, “You’re a girl.” With just a stern look and a firm “Hey!” from me, he quickly retreated. My son has heard “boys don’t have long hair” and “boys can’t do this or that” countless times. As a woman, I understand how societal expectations can dictate what we should like and how we should behave. This pressure to conform starts from birth—pink for girls, blue for boys; dolls for girls, trucks for boys, and the list goes on.

Having boys has brought to light the challenges they face under these rigid gender norms. My son enjoys wearing dresses and painting his nails, which led to important conversations with his daycare about not only how to handle teasing but also ensuring they foster an accepting environment. My husband, a wonderful role model, painted his own nails to show support for our son. Recently, while shopping, my son picked out a rather unusual orange-and-white-striped shirt adorned with eight pockets. While I find it quite odd, he absolutely loves it, and that’s what truly matters.

There are signs of progress as our society begins to value equality and individuality over outdated gender stereotypes. For instance, the emerging company Boy Story is introducing a line of boy dolls—a bold move against the traditional market. It’s encouraging to see more options that challenge gender norms in toys and clothing.

When discussing gender, I’ve never understood the need to pigeonhole individuals. My husband exemplifies how men can be nurturing and emotionally intelligent. He would gladly stay home with our kids if circumstances allowed, while I prefer to pursue my career. I have no judgment towards those who choose to stay home; it simply isn’t my path.

Ultimately, why can’t we just be who we are? Authenticity leads to confidence and happiness. It allows individuals to pursue their passions and be productive members of society. If my son develops a passion for fashion design or any other “feminine” pursuit, I wholeheartedly support him.

I recognize that I can’t shield my son from the world and its pressures, but I will do my utmost to instill in him the confidence to embrace his true self. And I truly believe that his authentic self will shine brightly in the world.

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Summary:

In a world full of constricting gender norms, supporting our children to be their authentic selves is essential. This journey involves navigating societal expectations while fostering confidence and individuality, allowing them to pursue their passions without limitations.


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