Parenting can be a rollercoaster, especially when it comes to navigating new relationships post-breakup. I knew that eventually, my ex, Sarah, would start dating again. It was a reality I had to accept. After all, we had a shared history that made it clear we wouldn’t be rekindling our romance, and honestly, I was content with how things were.
We had faced our fair share of challenges after the end of our five-year relationship, including my return to rehab, selling our home, and answering our little girl Mia’s questions about why Mommy and Daddy no longer lived together. Each of these hurdles was tough, yet we always kept one thing in mind—what was best for Mia?
As time went on, joint custody felt almost like second nature. Thursdays, Fridays, and every other Saturday with Dad, and the rest of the time with Mom seemed fair enough on paper. Our exchanges were cordial, and we communicated regularly, always asking ourselves, “What’s best for Mia?”
We managed to build a friendship that worked, and Mia seemed happy. I knew deep down she might dream of Mom and Dad back together, but she was thriving. When Sarah finally told me she had met someone, I wasn’t shocked. It was bound to happen. However, it did stir up some feelings that I wasn’t quite ready to confront.
Sarah took her time, waiting months before introducing her new boyfriend to Mia. She wanted to ensure he was more than just a passing fling, which I appreciated. I was happy she was making the most of her Friday nights while I enjoyed movie marathons and Barbie playdates with Mia. But when Sarah asked if she could take Mia bowling with her boyfriend on a Friday night, I was caught off guard.
I knew I should say, “Of course,” but the words got stuck in my throat. So, that Friday night, I chose to stay home, maybe out of self-pity. I plopped on the couch, a pint of ice cream in hand, drowning my worries in spoonfuls of sweet distraction. Yet, the haunting question lingered: was this truly what was best for Mia?
Over time, I began to adjust to the idea of Sarah’s boyfriend being part of Mia’s life. Each new encounter felt less painful than the last, until it became a part of our new normal. It was like we were living in a real-life episode of a family sitcom. We could all be in the same room without it being painfully awkward—well, maybe a little awkward, but we learned to embrace it.
Then came that hot summer day when I was invited to join them for a swim at Sarah’s condo. I was excited, eager for family time. Mia was already in the pool, her face lighting up when she saw me. I exchanged quick hellos with Sarah and her boyfriend before jumping in. We splashed around, playing games until Mia asked for her mom’s boyfriend to join the fun.
As she leaped out of the pool, a wave of anxiety washed over me. I felt my heart drop. I wanted to bolt, to escape the situation, but I also knew that running away wouldn’t send the right message to Mia. I was torn between jealousy and the desire to support my daughter’s happiness.
Eventually, I decided to stay, and I’m glad I did. Mia came back a few minutes later, eager to play with me instead. However, the feelings of insecurity lingered for days. I had to remind myself that my ego couldn’t interfere with my role as a dad. What mattered most was Mia’s happiness.
Now, things are much smoother. I aim to keep my ego in check, wanting the best for Mia—whether it’s forming a bond with Sarah’s boyfriend or navigating future relationships. I just have to keep repeating: WBFL—What’s Best For Lola.
As for the future? Well, I guess we’ll cross that bridge when Mia starts dating.
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