“Why did I come in here?” This is a common query I hear from new mothers navigating the postpartum journey, often described as ‘mommy boot camp.’ These are moms grappling with sleep deprivation and the whirlwind of postpartum hormones. They struggle with simple tasks like taking a shower and find themselves lost in a cycle of comparison—wondering if they produce enough breast milk, feeling judged for opting for formula, or battling insecurities about their changing bodies.
Amidst the chaos of caring for a newborn around the clock, attempting to reclaim one’s health and body can feel insurmountable. It’s no surprise that many new moms face challenges like eating disorders or depression. The first step I encourage them to take is to not forsake their own self-care while caring for others. This doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly spring out of bed with boundless energy at 5 a.m. Instead, it’s about incorporating yourself, no matter how small, into your daily routine of nurturing.
Self-care can take many forms, and it’s essential to incorporate two key elements: an actionable step and a tone of fierce compassion.
For instance, just the other day, after dropping my child off at school, I headed to a café to meet a colleague and do some writing, which I consider an act of self-care. However, upon reaching for my laptop, I realized I had forgotten it. My initial reaction was to celebrate the excuse to skip writing. I thought, “It’s been five years since the original due date; why not indulge in chocolate instead?”
But then, a more encouraging voice chimed in, one I often share with clients facing the challenges of new motherhood or recovery from eating disorders: “Nope. You’re not giving up on self-care today.” This voice reminded me that abandoning my needs was not an option. I rummaged through my bag and found a couple of pieces of paper—a coloring page and a blue sheet with stars cut out by my child—along with a pink pen.
In that moment, this fierce yet compassionate inner voice took on the tone of Tim Gunn from Project Runway: “Make it work.” And you know what? I ended up writing some decent content, given the resources at hand. The key takeaway is this: You don’t have to be perfect, just show up and do what you can.
Moms, keep that connection with yourself alive. Be your own protective mama bear. Nurture that fierce bond with yourself just as you do with your little one. And if you tend to be a perfectionist, remember to set the bar lower. As I’ve learned: underpromise, overdeliver.
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In summary, it’s imperative for mothers to prioritize their own self-care while managing the demands of parenthood. Remember that even small acts of self-care can make a significant difference in your well-being.