My partner is a doctor, which means he spends a lot of time away from home. When he is around, he truly is an amazing dad and husband. There are moments filled with laughter, Lego masterpieces, and delicious homemade treats. However, more often than not, it’s just me and our kids navigating the world together.
I take immense pride in managing my three children as we go about our day. Initially, I invested in a bulky triple stroller (which I quickly learned was a huge mistake!) and instead focused on getting scooters, balance bikes, and two-wheelers for my older two to help them get around while I carry the baby. When chaos ensues, I strap on the baby carrier, even though my youngest is nearly 25 pounds, while pushing the older boys in a double stroller.
Sometimes, I find myself relying on the goodwill of passersby to help me through a doorway, lift the heavy stroller, or keep an eye on one of the kids while I handle the bill at a restaurant. My mornings typically begin with the loud calls of my boys eager to start the day far too early (“Mooooooommmmmm!!!! Is it time to wake up?!?”). I tackle repairs, inflate tires, swap out batteries, parallel park, shovel snow, and take out the trash—and yes, I cook and clean too. I proudly declare I’m “single-mommin’ it.” But the truth is, I’m not.
No matter how often I find myself alone with my children or how much of their day-to-day care falls on my shoulders, I will never truly grasp the challenges faced by single mothers. Those courageous women are genuinely going it alone.
We flock to playgrounds whenever we can. Partly to let our little whirlwinds burn off some energy and to tire them out for their naps, but also (perhaps more importantly) for the camaraderie of other neighborhood moms. We join parenting classes, breastfeeding support groups, arrange playdates, form carpools, and even create chat rooms and blogs—all in the name of connection.
We’ve all come to understand one fundamental truth: parenting is not something we can tackle alone.
When I’m pushing that triple stroller or loading three little ones in and out of our minivan, or during those frantic dinner hours when I’m desperately trying to meet their needs, I sometimes find myself feeling overwhelmed. On particularly challenging Saturday mornings, I try to think of ways to entertain the kids that won’t drive me up the wall. I often feel cooped up at home, thanks to a never-ending cycle of naps—there’s always someone sleeping, but never all at once. In those moments when I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself that, eventually, my wonderful partner will return home to appreciate my efforts. He’ll praise me for “doing it all” and provide that vital emotional support, even if he can’t always pitch in physically.
It must be incredibly isolating to realize that not only does your partner come home late (often long after the kids have gone to bed), but that he might not come home at all. Being “on your own” isn’t just a temporary arrangement while you wait for a text from your partner; it’s the reality of being the sole provider for your children, both emotionally and financially.
So, no, I’m not single-mommin’ it—far from it. But here’s a heartfelt salute to all of you who are. You might be younger or older, your kids may remind you of someone you loved and lost, or perhaps of someone you never met. You have to be the one with all the answers—not just for your children but also for onlookers, some of whom mean well while others are just plain nosy. You don’t get to shrug off tasks by saying, “That’s Daddy’s job.” You never have the luxury of sleeping in while someone else prepares breakfast. Every diaper is changed by you, every night terror is soothed by your embrace. There are no sick days.
Who is there to give you a break? Who do you vent to when things get tough? Who do you call when you accidentally bump another car while parking (like I did this morning)? How do you maintain the energy to meet your children’s every need? Who loves your kids as much as you do? Who tells you you’re beautiful, even when you’re in sweatpants?
This is my tribute to you, Single Mom. If you’re managing to smile, if your hair is clean, if you’ve made it through another day—heck, if your kids are even dressed—you deserve a medal.
And I’d be happy to meet you at the playground anytime! For more insights on parenting, check out this post on navigating parenting challenges. If you’re considering at-home insemination options, a great resource for supplies is CryoBaby’s home insemination kit. And for those looking into fertility services, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent information.
Summary:
In this heartfelt piece, the author reflects on the daily challenges of parenting three children while her partner is often away at work. While she proudly manages her family, she acknowledges that she cannot truly understand the struggles of single mothers who face these challenges alone. A tribute to those resilient women, the article emphasizes the importance of community, support, and connection in navigating the complexities of parenting.
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