Over a steaming cup of coffee, my friend and I were swapping tales of our kids’ refusal to nap. She shared her struggle of strapping her little one into his car seat for a drive, a trick she swears by to coax him into slumber for a precious moment of quiet. I chuckled and nodded along, but the truth is, I’ve never had that luxury.
You see, I’m a mom who can’t drive. My poor eyesight means I never got a driver’s license, a reality I’ve accepted since childhood. Growing up in a small California town, I relied on friends for rides or just walked wherever I needed to go. When I moved to Portland, Oregon for college, the excellent public transit system made my life even easier; my legs were my trusty mode of transport, and I didn’t think twice about it.
However, once I became a mom, the limitations of my situation became glaringly apparent. If it’s raining (which, let’s be honest, is a frequent occurrence in the Pacific Northwest), taking my kids to a doctor’s appointment means bundling them in jackets, rain boots, and umbrellas for a trek that feels more like an expedition than a simple walk. We’re not just heading to the car; we’re marching almost a mile to my ob-gyn.
When we run low on essentials like milk or toilet paper, it doesn’t matter if the weather is dismal or if the kids are cranky—we have to brave the elements. While other kids may delight in a stroll, mine don’t have that choice, and it occasionally weighs on my heart. I know it’s a silly thing to feel guilty about since it’s beyond my control, but as a mom, I always strive for the best for my kids. Sometimes, a walk in the wind while juggling errands isn’t quite what I had in mind.
Though I could wallow in my unfortunate circumstances (and believe me, I do from time to time), I try to focus on the positives. My children are learning essential safety rules, like looking both ways before crossing the street and waiting for signals at intersections. They’re becoming familiar with public transit at a young age, which will foster their independence and confidence later in life. Plus, they get to interact with a diverse array of people throughout our busy city. They’re learning that just because you can’t do something that others might take for granted, it doesn’t mean life is any less fulfilling; it just means finding a different route to your destination.
Some days, I dream of loading the kids in the car, cranking up the radio, and cruising around the block until they doze off in the backseat, like my friend does. But that’s not my reality. This is my life, and it’s the only one my kids have known. They’ll grow up to be self-reliant, just as I did, and that’s a lesson I’m proud to impart.
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In summary, although being a mom without a driver’s license presents its challenges, it also offers unique lessons in resilience and independence for both me and my children. We navigate our lives in our own way, embracing the journey with all its ups and downs.