This Election Cycle Has Made Me Overweight, Anxious, and Acne-Prone. Thanks, Donald.

home insemination syringe

Does anyone else feel like they’ve been taken hostage by this election madness? My anxiety levels are through the roof. I wake up in the dead of night with my heart racing, snapping at my family more than usual. Every time I turn on the radio or check my computer, I can practically feel my blood pressure rising. And let’s not even talk about the endless baking of cookies that I pretend are for my kids. I’ve made more trips to the liquor store recently than ever before, and honestly, the owners look exhausted (but somehow still cheerful).

As I pen this, I’m stress-eating my kids’ leftover Halloween candy while obsessively refreshing FiveThirtyEight. Donald isn’t making America great again; he’s turning us all into pudgy alcohol enthusiasts.

I can only imagine that future historians will coin a term for this collective meltdown we’re experiencing. Perhaps they’ll even create a special category in the DSM to account for the anxiety and stress this election has inflicted — especially on those of us who already have a tendency to feel anxious (raises hand). Just think about it: it’ll feel like we’re all slowly clawing our way out of a vast pit of despair — a pit filled with racism, fear, misinformation, and poorly constructed sentences.

The saddest part for me has been witnessing the overwhelming sadness. Friends and family whom I care about — good, kind-hearted individuals — are blindly following a madman. It fills me with dread for the future of humanity. I long for this all to be over.

Here are just a few ways I’ve been handling (or not handling) the situation:

1. I read about another ridiculous statement Trump made at a rally and suddenly find myself gnawing on my nails.
2. I hide yet another friend on Facebook because I can’t handle the avalanche of misinformation they’re sharing. I even consider if beer for lunch might be a wise choice.
3. I listen to a podcast that reveals one-third of Americans still think Obama is a Muslim. Really?! I start brainstorming routes to Canada.
4. I check the FiveThirtyEight polls for the umpteenth time that day. I eat a donut. Or maybe a box. Who’s counting?
5. I see friends dressed up as Hillary in a prison jumpsuit for Halloween. I worry about their futures and their children’s futures — how are we even sharing the same reality?
6. Watching videos of Trump rallies fills me with anxiety about how much crazier these crowds could get if he loses. I can’t help but practice my deep breathing.
7. I read in the newspaper that some people don’t trust fact-checkers, whose sole purpose is to verify facts. I slam the paper shut and bake pumpkin bread, devouring the entire thing before anyone else gets home.
8. I tune into comedy shows and see even the comedians struggling to make sense of this election. I find myself yelling at my kids to clean their rooms, take showers, or do anything — just get out of my face because my patience is gone.
9. I see the arguments that inevitably erupt in the comments section of every political post. I want to scream at everyone to step away from their keyboards and reflect for a moment before typing. Then, I pour myself a glass of wine. The comments section drives me straight to the bottle.
10. My 5-year-old (!) asks me if the “bad man” is gone yet. Even she can see and hear the chaos. I think about signing her up for karate so she can defend herself against men like him. Don’t you dare touch her — she’ll knock you into next week.
11. I hear he may not concede if he loses. I’m once again grateful that I don’t live next door to any of his supporters.

So, clearly, I’m not handling this well, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this boat. For the upcoming week, let’s all cut each other some slack and allow ourselves to be a little cranky and irritable until this is all behind us. Then, we can return to un-hiding our friends’ posts and start stressing about the holidays like normal people. I hope!

For more insights on home insemination and related topics, check out this post on intracervicalinsemination.com. Additionally, you can find helpful information at makeamom.com, an authority on fertility matters. For those interested in pregnancy and home insemination, Cleveland Clinic’s podcast is also an excellent resource.

Summary:

This election cycle has caused widespread anxiety and stress, leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms like stress-eating and excessive drinking. Many people feel overwhelmed by misinformation and divisive rhetoric, creating a collective sense of despair. As we navigate these challenging times, it’s essential to extend grace to one another while we await a return to normalcy.